What other people think of you is none of your business.

Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

This lady's got some nice ones I use often. Linky.
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Does Howdy Doody have wooden balls?
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From Yogi Berra:
Yogi's math teacher--"Don't you know anything?"
Yogi--"I don't even suspect anything!"

On a serious note: "People are the architects of their own misery."

AND

"A person is only as happy as they make up their mind to be"

And finally, from Squadron Weapons Dept, Subron 14 (1984):
(Torpedoes should always be loaded for launch and not stowage, because...)
"If your guns ain't loaded, you'll get your azz shot off!"
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in for a penny, in for a pound
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There's no "I" in TEAM, but there is an "ME" :-)


I'm busier than a one-legged man in a fanny kickin' contest.

Women.......Can't live with 'em, can't shot 'em.
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I have come here to smoke cigars and chew bubble gum ..... and I'm all outta bubble gum
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Hang tough.

-Z
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I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
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If you were any more full of sh!t it would say Depends on your forehead.
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Found it on a stall one day.......

Some people come here to sit and think
I come here to chit and stink.
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I like that one too.

Here's another: First the setting, Hellboy finds out Abe (fishgill guy) is in love with the Elf princess, and offers him a beer. Abe says, "No, I can't, my body's a temple."

Hellboy responds, "No, it's an amusement park. Have a beer."

That's just great, I love it.
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I've got a great memory, it's just not very long.
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Don't gripe about getting a haircut when you hang out at the barber shop.
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Damn Skippy
O yeah!
Full as a tick
Like a turd in a punchbowl
Dumb as a box of rocks
F*cked up as a can of worms
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:-) I love that part.
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One that my Father-In-Law uses ...

"You can't polish a turd."
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Fairness is an illusion we do not provide here. :-)
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Mythbusters actually proved that you can. :-)
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It is what it is.
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HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

I started to say, "I would like to see that," but upon reflection? Naw. :-)
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