realized that it's a light saber, not a gun, so nothing happened. How could he be so stupid. But he had one last trick to play and reached into his spandex for ...
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... a purple, glowing, pulsating, almost cartoonishly large ...
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eggplant. That's right, his secret identity is Kapitan Eggplant, scourge to evil everywhere.

Eggplant in hand, he paused, on hand on his hip, to proclaim ...
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..."I am the Eggman...I am the Eggman...I am the Walrus, Koo Koo Kachoo"!

This for some strange reason enraged puppet powered Gerry/Klugs/Nielsen, who proceeded to....
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breakdance

that's right, breakdance. Everyone started shouting "bust a move, bust a move". Good thing he was wearing his MC Hammer parachute pants, because otherwise, when he did that one really wild move, he might have ...
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exposed his eggplant. That right, he was Kaptain Eggplant's sidekick, Parmeseana Boy. His name really had two meanings, as besides his purple eggplant appendage, he also had....
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purple rain. In a jar. In fact, Parmeaseana Boy--had he actually been able to touch this--was in fact the CA Poster Formerly Known as
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Zemekone. In fact Gerry had always been known as Zemekone. At this point the real klugs stepped into the scene. He was certainly amused to find that Zemekone was stealing his identity using a robot suit. Dave's eyes didn't stay there for long.

"JESSICA ALBA?" He yelled. Dave knew exactly what was going on here. Zemekone was trying to use Dave's identity to get to Jessica. Everyone knows that she secretly has the hots for Dave and his habano collection.

Just as Dave was about to make his move on Jessica, Tecnorobo had a gts inspired twitch, slapped Tom and yelled...
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"OKLO uot hebinedh uyo"

Tom yelled back "what the hell is wrong with you, boy!" and slapped him back .. immediately curing Technorobo of his GTS.

"Look out behind you" newly cured Technorobo yelled.

Tom spun around quickly to see .....
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Kwagga.

That's right, Kwagga decided to come back and honor everyone with his mad cigar reviewing skills and extensive knowledge of plagiarism ... uh, er, I mean ... knowledge of fine Habanos and the information that can be found on the internet.

Kwagga took a deep breath, gestured with his right hand, and...
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was promptly put in a blender by Tom and forced to drink himself. Although certainly a macabre scene, it seemed to stimulate Jessica, who reached for Klugs' .....
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... car keys. She wanted to go for a "fast ride" in his muscle machine. Only problem was ...
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...the car keys were not really car keys. They were a secret experiment at Klugs's research laboratory. When she grabbed them, she activated a field that transported them instantly to...
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....Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where the 118th Annual Bratfest was in full swing. Klugs turned to Jessica to offer her a bite of his brat, when he suddenly realized that...
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he had spilled his sauerkraut all down the front of his shirtless chest. Jessica smiled and started to lick it off Dave's chest ... but just then ...
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Tom awoke. Yes, season 9 of Not Dallas was a dream sequence. Tom was covered in, uh, sweat from the vivid dream. But he vowed ...
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to make his dream a reality. Or at least reality TV. So he called the Screen Actors Guild to cast the series. To play Klugs, Tom recruited actor...
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Rupaul. Tom had a wicked sense of humor.

To play puppetmaster Gerry, Tom was equally insistent on ...
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Jim Henson ... but there was that small problem .....
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But Frank Oz was available and they even look alike.

So the cast was taking shape but the screenplay needed work. Tom took out his old manual typewriter and wrote these words:

"It was a dark and storm night."

and followed them up with ...
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