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Jokes>Clacko the Clown
MajorCaptSilly 12:04 PM 03-13-2013
Clacko wasn't the best clown in the world but certainly wasn't the worst. He could make a good balloon animal and had some great magic tricks. Clacko's greatest skill, however, was the pratfall. Clacko maintained a clause in his contract that he would be provided with an area of at least 100 square feet for his performance so that he would have adequate room for a good landing.

Clacko was hired to perform his biggest birthday celebration ever. The owner of the local John Deere dealership was throwing a big shindig for his 8-year-old boy, Rufus. Rufus' dad invited every family in town that had a child from age 0 to 12 to the party. There were more than 100 families in attendance at the party which was held at the John Deere dealership. All the tractors were removed from the enormous showroom so there was plenty of room for all the people, the buffet, the cake, and of course, Clacko the Clown.

The party was a huge success. It was one of those few events that absolutely nothing could go wrong. The food was great and plentiful. The children were well-behaved, and not even a single balloon popped during the event which meant no startled children.

Clacko the Clown was in the zone. This was his biggest event ever and he knew that if it went well, he would get bookings for every birthday for every child in the place. Clacko's makeup was perfect and he even purchased a brand new wig, nose, and shoes. He made his way to the performance area which was larger than his contract required. Clacko mesmerized children and adults alike with magic tricks, balloon animals (not just animals but DRAGONS!), and a series of tasteful but funny jokes that everyone found hilarious.

It was near the end of Clacko's perfect performance. Clacko the Clown had prepared his best pratfall ever. His intention was to do an amazing ballet dance to "Flight of the Bumblebee" and at the end of a huge jump, slip on a banana peel and fall on his butt. Upon landing, Clacko rigged several confetti bombs in his suit that would be triggered as soon as his butt hit the ground. As he went down, the confetti would go up in a cloud and land all around him.

As was the case for the rest of the party, Clacko's finale was pure perfection. The crowd was amazed that he could move so gracefully wearing those huge shoes. His pratfall was legendary. As he hit the banana peel, both legs came up a full three feet and his confetti bombs all detonated right on cue. The crowd cheered and started chanting Clacko! Clacko! Clacko!

As the party was winding down, Rufus' dad brought Rufus over to thank Clacko for the great performace. Rufus went right up to Clacko and shook his hand and said "This was my best birthday ever!". Rufus' dad asked Rufus if there was anything else he wanted to say to Clacko. Rufus thought for a bit then said "I don't plan on carrying on the family business of selling tractors. My passion lies in anthropology."


MCS
[Reply]
Subvet642 12:13 PM 03-13-2013
Did we somehow forget the punchline?
[Reply]
markem 12:15 PM 03-13-2013
rim shot. Can I get a rim shot for table 3, please?
[Reply]
MajorCaptSilly 12:27 PM 03-13-2013
Originally Posted by Subvet642:
Did we somehow forget the punchline?
Not me.

MCS
[Reply]
Subvet642 12:32 PM 03-13-2013
I'm sorry, I don't get it, unless it's a commentary on clowns as some sort of anthropological oddity...:-)
[Reply]
MajorCaptSilly 12:44 PM 03-13-2013
Originally Posted by Subvet642:
I'm sorry, I don't get it, unless it's a commentary on clowns as some sort of anthropological oddity...:-)
Yes.

MCS
[Reply]
Subvet642 12:47 PM 03-13-2013
Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly:
Yes.

MCS
Ah!
[Reply]
cmitch 01:26 PM 03-13-2013
I missed the class on Coulrophobia.
[Reply]
czerbe 02:11 PM 03-13-2013
Crickets.......
[Reply]
icehog3 02:27 PM 03-13-2013
I am in love with Clacko.
[Reply]
14holestogie 02:56 PM 03-13-2013
Bravo. Major. Captain. Silly.

Those that get you, do. Those that don't, do too. :-)
[Reply]
MajorCaptSilly 03:04 PM 03-13-2013
Originally Posted by czerbe:
Crickets.......
I love Buddy Holly!

MCS
[Reply]
mkarnold1 03:16 PM 03-13-2013
Hahaha I read the whole thing. Joke's on me!
[Reply]
G G 03:32 PM 03-13-2013
Did someone say Cake?
[Reply]
markem 04:05 PM 03-13-2013
Nebulous
Posted via Mobile Device
[Reply]
MajorCaptSilly 04:18 PM 03-13-2013
Originally Posted by icehog3:
I am in love with Clacko.
You seem to fall in love every time I post. I think I'm your muse.


MCS
[Reply]
MajorCaptSilly 04:19 PM 03-13-2013
Originally Posted by markem:
Nebulous
Posted via Mobile Device
Ulterior

MCS
[Reply]
T.G 04:31 PM 03-13-2013
:-):-)
[Reply]
pnoon 04:50 PM 03-13-2013
gzornblt
[Reply]
icehog3 06:52 PM 03-13-2013
Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly:
You seem to fall in love every time I post. I think I'm your muse.


MCS
That, and the wind beneath my wings.
[Reply]
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