Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom... :-)
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That's not a condom.

He's such a badass that he's getting a BJ from it.
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Chuck Norris once got into a starring match with a mirror and won.
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I've known a few guys nicknamed Snake, but never for this reason . . . sort of. :-)
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Chuck Norris is so tough... When he falls in water, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris...
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Can Ed do this??? I think NOT...

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When Chuck Norris takes a piss he clogs the toilet.
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If Chuck Norris ever fought himself, Chuck Norris would win....period.
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When Chuck Norris does push-ups he doesn't push himself up; he actually pushes the Earth down.
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Chuck Norris tell the GPS which way to go... :-)
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Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.


There was once a street named after Chuck Norris, but they had to close it, no one dared cross Chuck Norris.
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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the %$&# down.
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Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey, he chews bees.
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"Phobia" is Latin for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
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Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried
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If anyone else knows what this is they get extra awesome points.

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