I figured I would do a public safety thread for those who are either not married yet or are married, but haven't endured nearly 30 years of it, with the same wife.

Key words to avoid for a healthy marriage. These are things that a husband should never, ever, ever say to a wife.............I'll start. We can also make it phrases/sentences to avoid.

1) Calm down
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"No those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat"


Never said it, but always laugh when I hear it :-)
[Reply]

1) Calm down
2) "No those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat"
3) "You're just not listening to me..."
[Reply]

1) Calm down
2) "No those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat"
3) "You're just not listening to me..."
4) It's your fault
5) I told you so
[Reply]

"Damn, your sister is hot. (Think she might be up for a 3-way?)"
[Reply]

1) Calm down
2) "No those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat"
3) "You're just not listening to me..."
4) It's your fault
5) I told you so
6) Isnt that your moms dress?
[Reply]

1) Calm down
2) "No those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat"
3) "You're just not listening to me..."
4) It's your fault
5) I told you so
6) Damn, your sister is hot
7) Isnt that your moms dress?
8) You were so hot then
[Reply]

1) Calm down
2) "No those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat"
3) "You're just not listening to me..."
4) It's your fault
5) I told you so
6) Isnt that your moms dress?
7) Damn, your sister is hot.
8) You were so hot then
9) Those aren't your panties?
[Reply]

1) Calm down
2) "No those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat"
3) "You're just not listening to me..."
4) It's your fault
5) I told you so
6) Damn, your sister is hot
7) Isnt that your moms dress?
8) You "were" so hot
9) Do these jeans still fit you?
10) Those aren't your panties?
11) How long is your mother staying?
[Reply]

1) Calm down
2) "No those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat"
3) "You're just not listening to me..."
4) It's your fault
5) I told you so
6) Damn, your sister is hot
7) Isnt that your moms dress?
8) You "were" so hot
9) Do these jeans still fit you?
10) Those aren't your panties?
11) How long is your mother staying?
12) You kinda look like your mom
[Reply]

1) Calm down
2) "No those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat"
3) "You're just not listening to me..."
4) It's your fault
5) I told you so
6) Damn, your sister is hot
7) Isnt that your moms dress?
8) You "were" so hot
9) Do these jeans still fit you?
10) Those aren't your panties?
11) How long is your mother staying?
12) You kinda look like your mom
13) Cant this wait til after the game?
[Reply]

1) Calm down
2) "No those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat"
3) "You're just not listening to me..."
4) It's your fault
5) I told you so
6) Damn, your sister is hot
7) Isnt that your moms dress?
8) You "were" so hot
9) Do these jeans still fit you?
10) Those aren't your panties?
11) How long is your mother staying?
12) You kinda look like your mom
13) Cant this wait til after the game?
14) What are you trying to say?
[Reply]

1) Calm down
2) "No those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat"
3) "You're just not listening to me..."
4) It's your fault
5) I told you so
6) Damn, your sister is hot
7) Isnt that your moms dress?
8) You "were" so hot
9) Do these jeans still fit you?
10) Those aren't your panties?
11) How long is your mother staying?
12) You kinda look like your mom
13) Cant this wait til after the game?
14) What are you trying to say?
15) Are you going to clean that up?
[Reply]

1) Calm down
2) "No those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat"
3) "You're just not listening to me..."
4) It's your fault
5) I told you so
6) Damn, your sister is hot
7) Isnt that your moms dress?
8) You "were" so hot
9) Do these jeans still fit you?
10) Those aren't your panties?
11) How long is your mother staying?
12) You kinda look like your mom
13) Cant this wait til after the game?
14) What are you trying to say?
15) Are you going to clean that up?
16.) When are we eating?
[Reply]

1) Calm down
2) "No those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat"
3) "You're just not listening to me..."
4) It's your fault
5) I told you so
6) Damn, your sister is hot
7) Isnt that your moms dress?
8) You "were" so hot
9) Do these jeans still fit you?
10) Those aren't your panties?
11) How long is your mother staying?
12) You kinda look like your mom
13) Cant this wait til after the game?
14) What are you trying to say?
15) Are you going to clean that up?
16.) When are we eating?
17) Well that was stupid.
18) Is it supposed to smell like that?
[Reply]

1) Calm down
2) "No those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat"
3) "You're just not listening to me..."
4) It's your fault
5) I told you so
6) Damn, your sister is hot
7) Isnt that your moms dress?
8) You "were" so hot
9) Do these jeans still fit you?
10) Those aren't your panties?
11) How long is your mother staying?
12) You kinda look like your mom
13) Cant this wait til after the game?
14) What are you trying to say?
15) Are you going to clean that up?
16.) When are we eating?
17) Well that was stupid.
18) Is it supposed to smell like that?
19) My perfect woman? 4ft, flat head, no teeth. *followed by....
20) I'd love you more if you had no arms or legs.
[Reply]

1) Calm down
2) "No those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat"
3) "You're just not listening to me..."
4) It's your fault
5) I told you so
6) Damn, your sister is hot
7) Isnt that your moms dress?
8) You "were" so hot
9) Do these jeans still fit you?
10) Those aren't your panties?
11) How long is your mother staying?
12) You kinda look like your mom
13) Cant this wait til after the game?
14) What are you trying to say?
15) Are you going to clean that up?
16.) When are we eating?
17) Well that was stupid.
18) Is it supposed to smell like that?
19) My perfect woman? 4ft, flat head, no teeth. *followed by....
20) I'd love you more if you had no arms or legs.
21) I'd do her
[Reply]

1) Calm down
2) "No those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat"
3) "You're just not listening to me..."
4) It's your fault
5) I told you so
6) Damn, your sister is hot
7) Isnt that your moms dress?
8) You "were" so hot
9) Do these jeans still fit you?
10) Those aren't your panties?
11) How long is your mother staying?
12) You kinda look like your mom
13) Cant this wait til after the game?
14) What are you trying to say?
15) Are you going to clean that up?
16.) When are we eating?
17) Well that was stupid.
18) Is it supposed to smell like that?
19) My perfect woman? 4ft, flat head, no teeth. *followed by....
20) I'd love you more if you had no arms or legs.
21) I'd do her
22) It seems like we have been married forever.
[Reply]

1) Calm down
2) "No those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat"
3) "You're just not listening to me..."
4) It's your fault
5) I told you so
6) Damn, your sister is hot
7) Isnt that your moms dress?
8) You "were" so hot
9) Do these jeans still fit you?
10) Those aren't your panties?
11) How long is your mother staying?
12) You kinda look like your mom
13) Cant this wait til after the game?
14) What are you trying to say?
15) Are you going to clean that up?
16.) When are we eating?
17) Well that was stupid.
18) Is it supposed to smell like that?
19) My perfect woman? 4ft, flat head, no teeth. *followed by....
20) I'd love you more if you had no arms or legs.
21) I'd do her
22) It seems like we have been married forever.
23) It really pisses me off when you...............(add anything you want as it doesn't matter)
[Reply]

1) Calm down
2) "No those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat"
3) "You're just not listening to me..."
4) It's your fault
5) I told you so
6) Damn, your sister is hot
7) Isnt that your moms dress?
8) You "were" so hot
9) Do these jeans still fit you?
10) Those aren't your panties?
11) How long is your mother staying?
12) You kinda look like your mom
13) Cant this wait til after the game?
14) What are you trying to say?
15) Are you going to clean that up?
16.) When are we eating?
17) Well that was stupid.
18) Is it supposed to smell like that?
19) My perfect woman? 4ft, flat head, no teeth. *followed by....
20) I'd love you more if you had no arms or legs.
21) I'd do her
22) It really pisses me off when you...............(add anything you want as it doesn't matter)
23) what is this suppose to be?
24) It seems like we have been married forever.
[Reply]