Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum Mobile
Page 1 of 3
1 23 >
Jokes>Guy walks into a bar
MajorCaptSilly 01:41 PM 08-29-2009
A guy walks into a bar with a live chicken under his arm. The bartender says "You can't have a chicken in the bar". The man then takes the chicken from under his arm and eats it whole. He says to the bartender "I hope your happy! Now I'm gonna have get a new harpsichord!"


MCS
[Reply]
Starscream 01:48 PM 08-29-2009
A man walks into a bar...

Ouch!
[Reply]
Blindjimme 01:54 PM 08-29-2009
A live chicken... :-) a harpsichord... :-) .... wait, is this a test? :-)
[Reply]
Kreth 04:37 PM 08-29-2009
A baby seal walks into a club.
Posted via Mobile Device
[Reply]
icehog3 12:33 AM 08-30-2009
Knock knock.
[Reply]
McSmokey 01:05 AM 08-30-2009
Who's there
[Reply]
MajorCaptSilly 10:46 AM 08-30-2009
It's 1972 and a man walks into a bar with a live goose under hs arm. The bartender says "You can't have live geese in here, man!". The guy says "But I'm a Cubs fan". The bartender then says "Come here and I will splash you with some Vermouth for free.".

MCS
[Reply]
icehog3 11:19 AM 08-30-2009
Originally Posted by McSmokey:
Who's there
Scott's harpsicord.
[Reply]
Texan in Mexico 11:38 AM 08-30-2009
What, and give up show business?
[Reply]
Starscream 04:11 PM 08-30-2009
A guy walks into a bar. Two hours later he walks out drunk off his @$$!
[Reply]
MajorCaptSilly 06:24 PM 08-30-2009
Two guys walk into a bar. One is holding a picture of Jack Benny, the other, a picture of Lenny Bruce. The bartender says "We are all out of manilla envelopes."

MCS
[Reply]
DoctorBJ 06:27 PM 08-30-2009
A sandwich walks into a bar and orders dinner. The bartender says, we don't serve food here.
[Reply]
Starscream 06:36 PM 08-31-2009
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
[Reply]
MajorCaptSilly 06:49 PM 08-31-2009
The Blues walks into a bar and says "I got the damn blues dammit!"

MCS
[Reply]
Starscream 06:56 PM 08-31-2009
A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walked into a bar. Wait...
What the hell are a rabbi, a priest, and a minister doing in a bar?
[Reply]
Mr.Maduro 06:40 AM 09-01-2009
There are two elephants in the bath tub taking a shower. One elephant says to the other, "Can you please pass the soap?" the other elephant says "What do I look like, a shoe?"
[Reply]
SchizoFilly 07:44 AM 09-01-2009
This reads like a british comedy....I'm not sure if I should be laughing, but others seem to be enjoying it.
[Reply]
MajorCaptSilly 07:52 AM 09-01-2009
Originally Posted by Mr.Maduro:
There are two elephants in the bath tub taking a shower. One elephant says to the other, "Can you please pass the soap?" the other elephant says "What do I look like, a shoe?"
That was beautiful!

MCS
[Reply]
Mr.Maduro 07:54 AM 09-01-2009
Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly:
That was beautiful!

MCS
I had a feeling you would enjoy that. My friend and I have been telling that one for years.
[Reply]
MajorCaptSilly 07:58 AM 09-01-2009
A Ziggy comic walks into a bar and says "Bartender, I'm having a "Ziggy" day. What drink can you recommend for someone having a "Ziggy" day?" The bartender says " I never liked Ziggy. I've always been more of a Tank Mcnamara guy. How about some Gin and Drano?"

MCS
[Reply]
Page 1 of 3
1 23 >
Up