~ My human runs slow because he uses only half of his legs.
~ If I eat that cat's poop, tomorrow it'll be my poop.
~ Why do humans harvest our poop?
~ Oh boy oh boy oh boy the pizza crust man is here.
~ If I wasn't around, my human would lose dozens of tennis balls every day.
~ SQUIRRELS ARE JUST TENNIS BALLS THROWN BY GOD.
~ Human has gotten noticeably smaller since we first met. He used to be able to pick me up with one hand!
~ I had to bark at my human for 12 hours before he would come back inside the house, but it worked.
~ GUYS. GUYS. MOM JUST GAVE ME A BATH AND I THOUGHT I WAS DYING BUT I'M NOT DEAD AND NOW LOOK HOW FAST I AM!!
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