So, I was at a bar last night when a woman, ugly and fat as can be, walked in.
She noticed me and came up behind me and smacked my behind.
She said "Hey buddy, I like old guys, so how about you give me your number?"
I turned around to look at her and with a pause I asked "You got a pen?"
She answered "Sure do."
So I said "Well you'd better get back in it before the farmer realizes you're missing"…
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