Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum Mobile
Jokes>The New Survivor Series!! (this is for the ladies)
Ms. Floydp 09:59 PM 10-25-2008




THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and
3 kids
each
for six weeks.

Each kid will play
two sports
and either take music
or dance classes .

There is no fast food.

Each
man must
take care of his 3 kids;
keep
his assigned house clean ,
correct all homework ,
and complete science projects, cook, do laundry ,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money.

In addition, each man
will have to
budget in money
for groceries each week.

Each man
must remember the birthdays

of all their friends
and relatives ,
and send cards out
on time--no emailing .

Each man must also
take each child to a doctor's
appointment ,
a
dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment .

He must make
one unscheduled and inconvenient
visit per child
to the Urgent Care.

He must also
make cookies or cupcakes
for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside
and keeping it presentable
at all times.

The men will only

have access to television
when the kids are asleep
and all chores are done.

The men must
shave their legs,
wear makeup
daily,
adorn himself with
jewelry,
wear uncomfortable
yet stylish shoes,
keep fingernails polished
and eyebrows groomed .

During one of the six weeks ,
the men will have
to endure severe abdominal
cramps, back aches,
and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain
or
slow down from other duties.

They must attend
weekly school meetings,
church, and find time
at least once to spend the afternoon
at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to
read a book to the kids
each night and in
the morning,
feed them , dress them ,
brush their
teeth and
comb their hair by 7:00 am..

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father
will be required to know all of the following information:
each child's birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size
and doctor's name.
Also the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear and
what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island
based on performance.
The last man wins only if...
he still has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over
and over again for the next 18-25 years
eventually earning the right
To be called Mother!

[Reply]
Squid 05:18 AM 10-26-2008
Wow....that would be tough. I don't think even my wife could pull that one off! :-)
[Reply]
Hardcz 08:31 AM 10-27-2008
shoot is that all?
[Reply]
theycallmedan'lboone 10:08 AM 10-27-2008
I'll have an awful lot of time to do most of that while the kids are at school and my woman is off earning money.
[Reply]
Starscream 08:29 PM 10-28-2008
Why would I want to sign up for that? That's what I got married for!:-)
[Reply]
Up