A woman decides she'd like a parrot for a pet, one that talks. She goes to the pet shop and sees a parrot that knows 10 words for £500, a parrot that knows 30 words for £1000, and a parrot that can hold a conversation for 20 quid. Why only 20 quid, she asks the assistant?, "Because it has lived in a brothel and has a real potty mouth, and is too damn clever for its own good". She decides she's broad minded enough to cope and buys the 20 quid parrot.
When she gets it home she uncovers the cage and the parrot straightens up, looks round and says, "Nice gaff, very posh, get better customers here, like it, like it!"
Half an hour later the eldest daughter comes home " New girl, nice tits on that one, like it, like it!"
Another half hour later the younger daughter comes home, "New girl, what an arse on that one, good for business, like it, like it!"
Another 30 minutes go by and the woman's husband comes home. The parrot takes one look at him and says, "Hiya Keith, how you doing mate?"
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:-)