I know many wives read here just to keep up with hubbies secret cigar life. Hi I'm Dave and I'm on your side. Rotten bastages constantly typing stuff into the computer at all hours instead of attending to your needs. Not even decent conversation just typing and typing.
It's just wrong. And now you have the opportunity to put your foot down and really make a statement they are going to understand. But only later much later, as there is an added benefit you can pick up some extra cash (yes untraceable greenbacks) for your shopping pleasure.
Tired of your spouse sneaking around ordering more than he tells you about? Can the dog really have eaten the past 6 months credit card bills each month? You know this is bullshit and your not going to take it anymore.
Starting tomorrow take a stand and take back some of your kids college fund that cigar boy has "invested in his stash". Let's start slowly and under the radar. While he is at work or sleeping head down to his humidor storage area. Please note cigar boy is sneaky. Those coolers in the basement he says are for 4th of July? You guessed it full of your new shoe money. Anyway, make a list of the names on the boxes. Please note the codes on the bottom. Some will have a few letters and then a month and year. Some will just have letters.. these are the ones that you can get some real shopping bang for the buck.
Write them down put your phone number and a good time to call on them and fax it in to...
1-800-get-even
We will get back to you within 24 hours. We realize you may be concerned as many of your husbands are maniacal and anal retentive about their cigars. If only they paid as much attention to you. Geez. So in order to cover our tracks, once we select which cigars will inflict the maximum justice on cigar boy and maximum spending $$ for you, we will send "replacement cigars" for you to substitute for the ones we are buying. Have no fear these are perfectly fine cigars made by the Tamboril and Cremosa cigar companies. Ashtray breath will never know the difference.
We'll start with the bottom row from boxes. Typically this will be 12 cigars. In case you are wondering what these might be worth... (as if it really matters it's justice we are looking for here.. can I get an amen?) depending upon the size and age of the cigars, you might get up to $ 10 per stick. If you trade out 50 cigars (that’s only about 4 boxes and hell he's got way too many already) this could be up to $ 500 per week for weeks and weeks and weeks.
I'm sure many of you have observed your husbands behavior in thinking he is receiving cigars behind your back, and sending cigars to others. Please be much more careful then they are in dealing with "our little secret". We will mail you all the mailing supplies to send the cigars to us along with the replacement cigars for those you send out.
We look forward to helping you take control of your life once again and await your fax.
Bonus Available.
Soon to be divorcees and or soon to be ex girfriends get an extra 20% for full box or even full collection submissions. Nothing says you'll remember me forever ahole like a nice humi cleaning.
Look forward to hearing from you ladies and happy shopping to all.
[Reply]
Dave, That is just wrong on so many levels! I like it!
In fact if any of you spurned wives or girlfriends come upon boxes like these, I am willing to pay over the $10 a cigar Dave mentioned!
:-)
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I can pay $15 a cigar for these stinky old cigars. Just drop me a PM!
:-)
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