Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum Mobile
Jokes>Giving up Wine
Taboo Cigars 12:47 PM 12-09-2009
Giving Up Wine
Image
Wine Bottle Cork Set
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby- looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless woman told me.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" I asked.

"No, I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" I asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well, I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight."

The homeless woman was shocked. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

I said, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."










Image

I just know you're laughing!
[Reply]
Lensjockie 12:51 PM 12-09-2009
nice. can we spin this so it is a man getting his point across.
[Reply]
Skywalker 12:51 PM 12-09-2009
:-)Good one!!!:-)
[Reply]
Lensjockie 12:56 PM 12-09-2009
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby- looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man told me.
"Will you use it to go to a strip club instead of buying food?" I asked.

"No, I don't waste time looking at things that won’t keep me warm or fed." the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this betting on a football game, instead of food?" I asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. I haven't watched football in 20 years!"

"Well, I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my wife and I tonight."

The homeless man was shocked. "Won't she be pissed off with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I smell pretty disgusting."

I said, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what happens to a man after he has given up drinking, going to strip clubs, and watching football."
[Reply]
GKitty 01:41 PM 12-09-2009
:-) touche`, sir!!!

both are hilarious!!
[Reply]
Starscream 06:00 PM 12-09-2009
:-):-):-)
[Reply]
CBI_2 08:44 PM 12-09-2009
:-) Good stuff. :-)
[Reply]
MedicCook 08:46 PM 12-09-2009
:-) :-)
[Reply]
ChicagoWhiteSox 08:46 PM 12-09-2009
Nice:-):-)
[Reply]
G G 10:39 PM 12-09-2009
Woot woot.:-)
[Reply]
Up