So my 7 year old son plays coach pitch baseball and we were at a tourney game a few nights ago. We get to the field and he says he doesn't feel well. I tell him he is fine (think he is bluffing) and to go out there and play ball that his team depends on him. Well, I basically forced him to play baseball in the first place but I think it is good for him (interaction, play with others). The thing that bothers me is he half-asses it...won't go after the ball...won't swing the bat hard...no hustle. I have been working with him and he is getting better. Back to the game...he gets up to bat (they get 7 pitches) and strikes out 2 of the 3 times at bat...on the final time up to bat he hits it barely and is tagged out. So the other team wins (no big deal) but I feel my son was just being lazy. I tell him I love him and all I want is for him to try his best. So we go home and he goes to bed saying he doesn't feel well...turns out later that night he is running a 104 temp...F@&K! So for the past few days he has been sick.....I feel like an ass. :-)
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Yikes man....
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Man that stuff happens. I have done the same thing with my nephew, trying to get him to understand that he is supposed to try your hardest. As far as the sick thing, dont feel bad, it is so hard to tell when a kid is sick. He will be fine...I wouldnt beat yourself up over it...those things happen!
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So now ya go tell him you love him and take care of him while he's sick.
It doesn't hurt to ask him to forgive you for bein' an ass, either.
And then you repeat the cycle for the rest of their lives. :-)
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:-)
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Yeah...I keep telling him I love him...still feel like a jerk. He is such a good kid...very polite...probably too polite. Example, played soccer since he was 4 and no hustle...wouldn't take the ball away from anyone/wouldn't go after it...basketball was the same type deal...baseball he is getting better at hitting and catching but won't go after the ball....signed him up for football in the fall as I figured he just needs a little fire in him. I am there for every practice/game encouraging...not expecting greatness just effort. I hope I didn't make a mistake signing him up for football.
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Maybe baseball just isn't his bag. Have you tried talking with him? Maybe he likes basketball or soccer. If he likes video games make a deal with him, He gets x amount of video game time, but he has to do x amount of outdoor physical activity. Try to participate with him. That way he gets time with you and you get to monitor him. Just my :-).
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Hey,

If you're like me, it won't be the last time you'll make an a$$ of yourself. The important thing is he knows you love him (obviously he does).

Oh, and as one of my Marine buddies says "keep moving".
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I hope your boy gets to feeling better. Gota ask though oin the sports thing, his desires or yours being fullfilled here? I too as a kid was pushed into sports. Just wasn't and still isn't me. I didn't mind being out side doing stuff, but I'm no jock. At some point in conversation with him, figure out what his intrests are. Might be a mutual point in the middle you can reach.
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Oh yeah, totally I participate! I have to make him go outside to play basketball, throw or bat ball, or kick a soccer ball. The thing is he doesn't want to do anything but watch TV or play videogames. I don't get it. He has a new bike he doesn't ride, never wants to go outside to do much of anything. I was outside all the time when I was his age doing stuff. I refuse to let him be a couch potato...I do play video games with him and watch his shows but must force him to go outdoors. I think part of it is we don't have any boys on the street for him to interact with...that's why I thought sports would be beneficial, oh and boyscouts too. Am I wrong for making him do this stuff? He doesn't really love any of it but I think the social interaction is important. He is a very happy and good kid otherwise...does very well in school.
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IMO it's OK to push him a little, it helps kids grow -- but at the same time don't push too hard or as an adult he will resent you for it.
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We let the boys play whatever they wanted. Only deal was, once you start a season, you finish the season. Went through soccer, tee-ball, football and indoor roller hockey. One season each (and they were not happy about finishing the season in a couple of those).

Ice hockey they loved and still do.

I'm big on effort as well. That's all I ever asked of the boys.


Just remember that if he enjoys what he's doing the effort is there. If he doesn't.....well, kids are no different than us in that regard.
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Post of the day :-)

I have 5 kids and they are all Soooooo different. 1 is very physical, athletic, and 1 on the other end of the scale will break if the wind blows. Sports teach many great traits, but so does band, choir, acting etc. One child played the sax and one the violin. The devotion, work ethic and devotion it took to play those instruments was equal too if not more than that of the "joc".

Talk to your son, tell him you want to help him be a better man and ask him how you can do it. At that age don't be afraid to have those conversations. You will be amassed at how kids that age know what they want. If they know in their heart you will support them they will open up and tell you.

:-)

Good luck,
Chas
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Man I hope he doesn't resent me...My dad always worked so I was never forced to do anything...so I basically didn't and have regrets...kinda living through my son I guess.
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Just tell him to pretend the other kids are you and go knock the crap out of 'em...that is if he's not happy with you for making him do it.

Maybe you get him involved in a scholastic type of event??? Knowing how to hit a baseball, but not being great at it won't do too much in the long run. Being able to do calc or trig in your head can pay the bills. :-)
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I pushed my son too hard as a young one. It took a long time to heal the wounds. Now, as a 15-year-old he's found that basketball is his passion and needs no pushing. He still has issues playing hard for coaches and teams he doesn't like and I know exactly where he gets it from! I do believe they need a push sometimes and sometimes you just have to let them find their own way. It's a very deilcate balance that I think parents have to learn as they go. There's no manual for it.

MCS
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I am looking forward to the day he has a music class...hoping maybe he will pick something up. There were some acting classes but he is so shy and didn't want to do it. I am not looking for a jock in my son just for him to try. I talk to him all the time (does he listen, not sure). Just needs to find his thing (whatever that may be) I guess.
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Man you said it! Delicate balance is right! I am glad I brought this up...it is interesting seeing the varying viewpoints.
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I wonder if its simply a trust issue at this time. If so, don't fret it. If you have always pushed a direction he does not want to go, he may be reluctant to tell you how he really feels. No different than you telling your boss for a year how to do something better and he refuses to listen and keeps doing it his way. Eventually you just stop telling him and do it his way, without enthusiasm and passion. Keep at it dad, hes worth it :-)

Chas
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You bet he is! I live for my kids! And your boss analogy is dead on!
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