I had a very bad day today. My girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me today. So she is very anti tobacco and treats cigars like cigarettes which we all know how different they are on here. She always said she wouldn’t kiss me if I smoked and today she found my stash in my room and totally went off. She was like I told you to never smoke and what are these and how long have you been smoking and I said about 7 months and she was like well you should have told me when you started and not hid them from me. Then broke up me. We were the perfect couple.
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Sorry to hear that Chayse...it's never any fun to go through a break up, regardless of which side you are on.
I have to say though, (Based solely on what you've written here...) that if this was enough for her to want to break up, then maybe it's for the best? There are a lot more serious things to disagree on in a relationship than cigars after all...
Definitely wasn't good that you hid it from her though, it's been my experience that when I've hidden things in a relationship, it's never (evereverever) ended well.
If I could offer any advice, it would be to try to find a girl that you can be as honest and open with about cigars, etc as possible. Besides, there are plenty of women out there that are okay with cigars as well as some who are enthusiasts themselves!!
But yeah man keep your head up, as I recall, you are still a young dude so you have plenty of time to look for a more cigar tolerant relationship! :-)
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Chayse, someday you'll look back at this and be happy it occurred. You'll find a better girl and live happy everafter. Trust me.
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First I would have to agree if its just over the tobacco there are much greater problems you will face as a couple. If instead it is over the hiding of the cigars, in a woman's eyes/mind that is a treasonous offense.

*

That being said always remember the old adage "if you love something, set it free." If you were the perfect couple, let her know you are there and the rest will take care of itself.
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No you were not.

If that was how it was going to go down, then it's better it ended now than a few years down the road.
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Imagine if you're dealing with kids and mortgage. Hang in there and you'll find a girl more willing to accept your habits.

When I was single and looking, I'd mention cigars right away to make sure it would not be an issue later on.
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Rudyard Kipling
The Betrothed

"You must choose between me and your cigar."
-- BREACH OF PROMISE CASE, CIRCA 1885.



Open the old cigar-box, get me a Cuba stout,
For things are running crossways, and Maggie and I are out.

We quarrelled about Havanas -- we fought o'er a good cheroot,
And I knew she is exacting, and she says I am a brute.

Open the old cigar-box -- let me consider a space;
In the soft blue veil of the vapour musing on Maggie's face.

Maggie is pretty to look at -- Maggie's a loving lass,
But the prettiest cheeks must wrinkle, the truest of loves must pass.

There's peace in a Larranaga, there's calm in a Henry Clay;
But the best cigar in an hour is finished and thrown away --

Thrown away for another as perfect and ripe and brown --
But I could not throw away Maggie for fear o' the talk o' the town!

Maggie, my wife at fifty -- grey and dour and old --
With never another Maggie to purchase for love or gold!

And the light of Days that have Been the dark of the Days that Are,
And Love's torch stinking and stale, like the butt of a dead cigar --

The butt of a dead cigar you are bound to keep in your pocket --
With never a new one to light tho' it's charred and black to the socket!

Open the old cigar-box -- let me consider a while.
Here is a mild Manila -- there is a wifely smile.

Which is the better portion -- bondage bought with a ring,
Or a harem of dusky beauties, fifty tied in a string?

Counsellors cunning and silent -- comforters true and tried,
And never a one of the fifty to sneer at a rival bride?

Thought in the early morning, solace in time of woes,
Peace in the hush of the twilight, balm ere my eyelids close,

This will the fifty give me, asking nought in return,
With only a Suttee's passion -- to do their duty and burn.

This will the fifty give me. When they are spent and dead,
Five times other fifties shall be my servants instead.

The furrows of far-off Java, the isles of the Spanish Main,
When they hear my harem is empty will send me my brides again.

I will take no heed to their raiment, nor food for their mouths withal,
So long as the gulls are nesting, so long as the showers fall.

I will scent 'em with best vanilla, with tea will I temper their hides,
And the Moor and the Mormon shall envy who read of the tale of my brides.

For Maggie has written a letter to give me my choice between
The wee little whimpering Love and the great god Nick o' Teen.

And I have been servant of Love for barely a twelvemonth clear,
But I have been Priest of Cabanas a matter of seven year;

And the gloom of my bachelor days is flecked with the cheery light
Of stumps that I burned to Friendship and Pleasure and Work and Fight.

And I turn my eyes to the future that Maggie and I must prove,
But the only light on the marshes is the Will-o'-the-Wisp of Love.

Will it see me safe through my journey or leave me bogged in the mire?
Since a puff of tobacco can cloud it, shall I follow the fitful fire?

Open the old cigar-box -- let me consider anew --
Old friends, and who is Maggie that I should abandon you?

A million surplus Maggies are willing to bear the yoke;
And a woman is only a woman, but a good Cigar is a Smoke.

Light me another Cuba -- I hold to my first-sworn vows.
If Maggie will have no rival, I'll have no Maggie for Spouse!
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I don't know how old Uncle Kitty is, but he is wise and 100% correct.
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:-)

Break-ups are hard, but I think this one is best for both of you. Hang in there!
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Exactly what I was going to wrote. T.G. is also wise.

I'm curious, though about a couple things..
1. It sounds as though you were making an effort to hide it from her. Still, good riddance, but maybe more than just a controlling witch and cigars going on here.
2. If you HAD told her you smoke cigars, what do you think she'd have said? If your next x gives you an ultimatum about cigars....or any other legal (or ethical?) pastime....run.
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Sucks man. Ditto to what everyone else said with the one addition of a woman needs to allow a man his vices. This gives a woman and man something to complain about that should be minor compared to the stresses of life. Man caves a a real psychological need and if a man can’t get that alone time, then relationship problems will happen.

As much as I hate to credit “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”, the author was correct despite being a simpering schmuck who eventually cheated on his wife.

She seems a little high strung to me and she treats your cigars like you banged her best friend. I’m curious what she would consider worst?
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:-)
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If it hadn't been cigars, it would have been something else. She was looking for a reason/excuse to dump you. Sometime in the future, maybe soon, maybe years from now, she may try to reconnect with you and 'try again'. Don't fall for it.
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:-)
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Thanks everyone for the advice. I agree with you guys there may be something more to this she has a few new friends that I don’t know how much I like and trust so maybe something there. I don’t smoke many Cubans often because I don’t come by many but last night I had a hoyo #5 and it was a great well needed smoke to blow some steam.
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Everybody here is 100% right. She sounds more like "She who must be obeyed" than an equal partner, and, like Stevie Nicks sang: "Rulers make bad lovers".


BTW, props to The Poet for the Kipling.:-)
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Better now than after marriage! Certainly painful at the moment, but certainly for the best, too.
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I agree with that above. I like my toys and money.
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I was going to go with THIS, but it looks like TCS got over it pretty quick.
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Sorry to here that, the best remedy if I may is to get a CABINET. Then keep it loaded with everything you enjoy smoking. That way when you get your next girl she knows exactly who you are & what you like.
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