From the BBC - *by John Cleese*

ANNOUNCEMENT


The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France ‘s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be alright, Mate.” Three more escalation levels remain: “Crikey!”, “I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend”, and “The barbie is canceled.”
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:-) :-) :-)
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I could hear john Cleese's voice as I read. Very funny Sean, made my day!:-)
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Good stuff!!!


:-)


Chris.....
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funny
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Thanks Sean! Needed a good laugh on a dreary weather day!!
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^^^This.
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:-):-):-)
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haha. the French.
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The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France ‘s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

WW1 military dead : French : 1 397 800 - 4.29% of population
UK : 885 138 - 2.19% of population

WW2 mlitary dead : French : 216 600 - 1.36% of population
UK : 383 600 - 0.94% of population

I'm fond of John Cleese, love his humour but one can sometimes pick up a stereotype and make use of it without inquiring where it's been. I got the figures from Wikipedia.
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Welcome to Cigar Asylum. It would be great if you could please head over to the the "New Inmates Processing Area" and tell us something about yourself, how long you have been enjoying cigars, what cigars marques you enjoy and so on.
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Assuming, of course that he's here because of cigars or tobacco products!
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True, and that was taken into consideration when I posted.
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good stuff:-)
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I was emailed this again today from a friend, and thought the thread was worth a bump. :-)
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