If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.
Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings"
Please tell your pants it's not polite to point.
If that phone was up your ass, maybe you could drive better!
Don't be sexist, broads hate that.
Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it!
Constipated people don't give a ****.
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
My kid got your honour roll student pregnant.
To all you virgins... Thanks for nothing.
If you can read this... I lost my trailer.
Your just jealous cause the voices are only talking to me.
I have the body of a God.... Buddha.
So manny pedestrians...so little time.
Eat right, exercise, die anyway!
Illiterate...Write for help.
Cover me... I'm changing lanes.
Boldly going nowhere.
Body by Nautilus, brain by Mattel.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you are doing it wrong.
Honk if anything falls off.
If we quit voting, will they all go away.
Heart attacks... God's revenge for eating his animal friends.
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My kid got your honour roll student pregnant.
To all you virgins... Thanks for nothing.

Thanks for the morning laugh:-)
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:-)
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This

and this

:-):-):-)
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Jesus saves........passes to Gretzky, Gretzky scores!
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:-) :-) :-)
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Old plumbers never die . . . they just smell that way.
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Caution when passing- driver flicking buggers
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"don't be sexist...broads hate that." LMAO.

Also,

it is actually on the back of a T-shirt of a biker. not a bumper sticker but I felt it would fit:

If you can read this the b**ch fell off.
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good stufff Larry!! :-)
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"Politicians are like dirty diapers ... they both stink and need to be changed often"

Yeah all of that on a normal bumper sticker ...
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God was my co-pilot, but then we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him.
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Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they usually stink.

Are you having phone sex or do you laways drive that way?

Breast inspection 20 feet ahead (please have 'em out).
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Bahahaha...

I hadn't thought about it, but that makes a lot of sense the way some of these losers drive in traffic with their phone attached to their ears!
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If at first you don't succeed
Skydiving might not be your sport
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I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
The fastest way to a fisherman's heart is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!
Buckle up... it makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car
There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.
Learn from your parent’s mistakes use birth control
Friends help you move; real friends help you move the body.
Want to get laid? Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!
Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young
I love to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do you want
(Front Bumper) If you can read this, I didn't hit you hard enough.
100,000 Sperm And You Were The Fastest?
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A day without sunshine is like, night
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This is great, but could result in getting your A$$ Kicked :-):-):-)
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If I wanted to listen to an @$$hole, I'd fart
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