Warning: If you're easily offended, this might not be for you.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

Pretty hysterical stuff.
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(410): You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpe$ is gone.


:-):-):-)
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fookin' funny bro!
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(859): Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
(502): Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?


ROFL
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hahahahaaha.....

(908): the vacuum is drunk
(703): what?
(908): i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
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(859): im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
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(714): OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
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(714): I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your sh!tty personality.
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:-) some of those are classic...I think I could add to that site!
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(617): Oh sh!t, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises

how do i get this girls number??
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Do it, do it!

Well Moe - She's a Ma$$hole...can't be too hard... :-)
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(843): I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.

:-):-)
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(212): so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."

OMG :-)
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Omg omg omg
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heres one for Dunng

(206): Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
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(603): Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
(1-603): No...more like a life jacket.

I think we've all been there...
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Hahahahah, on both of those.
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:-):-):-)

Thanks for the laugh, the site's making its way around work now :-)
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(405): Yeah, i think she was German or something.
(1-405): No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.

So mean but funny!
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(973): haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
(630): savin' lives aint cheap
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