...problem is, I know absolute zero about golf clubs, except you throw them when you run out of good curse words.
The one thing I found odd is that every time I say "I need a full set of clubs", everyone thinks that doesn't include a putter, woods, or half the irons.
What I need is all the clubs a guy would need, a bag, and whatever else I oughta have. Definately a place for cigars.

Will you guys please educate me, because I honestly know nothing of clubs. I couldn't even give you a list of what a fully comprehensive set of clubs consists of.
I'm supposed to go see a guy that's 45 minutes away to look at the ton of stuff he has. I'll take my neighbor to help, but I want to at least have a clue when I get there.
Anything you guys can do to give me a crash course would be HUGELY appreciated.
Then maybe you can show me how to hit the ball straight and make me up a list of curses that I may not have used yet. I'd like to have a list to hang on my bag for those moments when I'm totally speechless.
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I play golf, but am in no position to give advice. The blind leading the blind...

Buy used if you can.
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I would say that a set include a driver and a 3 wood, 3-9 or 4-9 irons, PW, SW, and a putter.

That would be good for starting. Also since your just getting started golfing, your probably going to want Regular Flex shafts on the driver vrs Stiff. Lots of people get caught up thinking they need Stiff flex cause it makes them feel more manly or something. Regular flex will be just fine, and you will need it until your swing speed gets much faster.
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Sounds like fun Scotty. I would recommend checking out your local Costco or Sam's Club. The ones out here have some pretty good sets of clubs. The sets include everything you will need from Driver all the way down to a Putter. Also includes the bag and other goodies.

If you would rather do some garage shopping at your buddies place Here's what I would get.

(You're "supposed" to carry 14 clubs at a time.)

Driver, 3 wood, 5 wood

3-9 Iron

PW, SW, LW

Putter

You can have many variations of that set up. I personally don't have a 5 wood or 3 Iron but instead a Gap Wedge and a 3 Hybrid. Everyone will have different suggestions but the one above is pretty solid for a beginner. The brand itself won't really matter at this time but do yourself a favor and get something a bit more current because it will make your life a lot less stressful:-)

Good Luck Buddy
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I'd go into your local golf store and look at some used sets that they have taken on trade. Usually they will have a place you can hit them and maybe even a pro to give some thoughts.

Used sticks are a good way to go, when you are first getting into the game. There is also the option of craigslist ect.
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:-) sporting goods stores also carry pre-made full sets with a bag and enough clubs to get you started, bought a set like that for my wife when she started taking lessons and playing
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I should have said that I'm buying used.
I already found a guy 45 minutes away that answered my Craigslist ad. He has an original set of Pings and a bag of Taylormade(?) stuff. Both the Pings and Taylormade have bags, etc. He says he has all the extra clubs to make a real set. The prices he quoted were real fair, I thought.
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What's an LW, Gare-bear? Is a driver the same thing as a 1 wood?
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I would definitely look at this if I were just beginning. The box sets you can get at places like Dicks are fine for a beginner. They will come with a driver and fairway wood, at least 3 & 4 hybrid (sometimes 5 too) and then the rest of the irons plus a sand wedge, putter and bag. You really can't go wrong. I would recommend the better quality sets though such as Adams Tight Lies. I think that will set you back like $500 or so but it would be worth it.

A LW is a lob wedge... not the easiest to hit. You definitely want a set with the hybrids for the long irons (3,4&5). They are soooo much easier to hit for the beginner.
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Lob Wedge
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I think you will find that an original set of Pings are not going to be the easiest irons to hit compared to current irons. They have come a LONG way since they were current technology. I would probably opt for more of a 'Game Improvement' iron... one with a large sweet spot and fairly wide sole. That helps you get the ball in the air and gives you forgiveness when you don't strike the ball perfectly (which for me doesn't happen ofter).
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Perfect.

Lob Wedge and Yes.

The LW is not really a necessity but I use the chit out of mine so I threw it in there. :-)
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:-)

Go to your local golf store or sports store. Those clubs are made for beginners. If you buy some advanced clubs your just going to make learning Golf not fun!
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My :-)
Get yourself a set (I think it has a special name-CRS) that consists of a driver, 3-wood, 3, 5, 7, and 9-iron, and a putter. Minimal investment until you develop some basic skills and learn how to use the clubs. If you find you take to the game, then invest in a 14 club set.
3 different wedges for a beginner? Not necessary.
A 2-iron? Reminds me of the joke about what to do if you are on the golf course and it begins to thunder and lightning. Stand in the middle of the fairway and hold your 2 iron straight up in the air. Because even God can't hit a 2 iron. :-)

Flame suit on. :-)
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HA! Not even gonna go there.
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You beat me to it, brother, except I always heard it was a 1-iron. :-)

I agree that used is the way to go, for now anyway. Just make sure the grips are still in good condition.
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TWO WORDS, buddy......Pawn and Shop.

Times is tough right now, lotsa good clubs there. A bad player, and a good one, too for that matter,
can make a round with no trouble with a driver, putter pitching wedge, three wood and a 5 iron.
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We have a used sporting goods store around here called Play it Again Sports. I don't know where it's at, but I've been assured they have lots of stuff.
The guy I talked to in Sebring seemed to know what he was talking about, and I think I can get a good deal and all the stuff I need from him. He can use the money ( he said so), and I liked him. So if I can help him out and get stuff that's right for me, I'd rather throw money his way.

Thanks for the comments on the beginner clubs, guys. I never knew there'd be any difference in the design that made playing easier. I just figured beginner clubs were cheaper so it didn't cost so much when you wrap them around a tree.
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Scott, have you played golf before? If not, I would suggest taking a few lessons as well instead of trying to be self taught. It'll help teach you the fundamentals and not looking like you're swinging a baseball bat.
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I do love to play, Peter. I could hit the ball a ton when I was a kid and played pretty often. The 12th hole of Boulder Creek is right out our morning room window, and I can literally walk on whenever I want. It's a short walk to go up and get a cart.
Lisa already has clubs and she'd love to go play. The only reason we haven't is cause I don't have any clubs.
From what I've seen, a set of $1000 clubs usually resells from the garage at $200, so it's not too big an investment to get started. I'll definately play, even if I only hit every other hole, cause all our friends and family play. Plus we can drive the cart right over here to beer up when necessary, they'll all appreciate that. :-)
It's good exercise and it'll force me to smoke some good cigars. I really can't lose. :-)
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