WTF is wrong with people? - Page 5 - Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum

Originally Posted by icehog3:
I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.

Originally Posted by BC-Axeman:
I used to joke around like this a lot, until I got married. Now I only tell these kind of things to my invisible friends.

We are Tom's invisible friends.......:-)

Never had someone actually take a cigar out of my mouth. Funny thing, my run-in was at a casino, with a complaining cigarette smoker. Some people have a lot of nerve...

forget smoking while watering the lawn. you need to set up a table outside and smoke wwhile you clean your firarms. if you are without firearms i can lend you some.
Posted via Mobile Device

Yes if someone had done that to me, I would have turned the hose on them. I love a good water fight. But also as a women, I dont think she would have done it. :-)

Originally Posted by icehog3:
I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.

Wow, Tom! :-)

It's a fine line we walk from being on either side of the law.

Originally Posted by 357:
I would have asked her to pay for it. If she refused she would have gotten the hose until she was out of reach. :-)

It puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again....

Originally Posted by icehog3:
I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.

:-) and YOU WONDER WHY I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND!!! :-)

ROb :-)

Originally Posted by icehog3:
I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.

But Tom, I thought you despised creative repetition?

Originally Posted by T.G:
It puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again....

:-)

Originally Posted by icehog3:
I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.

Well...that just about takes the steam out of any anger I felt, yikes!

This is where I usually get into the religion argument, but that is not allowed. But you get a lot of that
from people who are so constitutionally protected that they begin to forget that I have rights, too.

But I will relate how a guy got slapped full on the face at work in Meridian Mississippi one day.
It turned to a slap because a punch would have gotten me fired, and a ***** slap seemed the way to go.

New guy walks out to the smoking area, heading for a shoot of some sort, and passes by the outcasts
and says, "hey, can I get one of those??" SO I pull out a Marlboro Light, and seeing it was my last one,
I say "Normally I would never give up my last smoke, but seeing as how you are new..." He breaks it in
half and stomps on the remains and says, "smoking is bad for you" and so I slap him right across the face, hard.
And I said "so is taking a man's last smoke during sweeps when I can't leave the station and I am working
16 hour days you FU^$ing F^@&!" I got called in to my bosses office, not because the guy complained,
but because one of the other smokers told him about it. I thought I was fired. He was too scared to relate
the story apparently. The boss suggested I not put my hands on people I worked with or I might be subject
to not just workplace discipline, but a lawsuit as well. Then he lauged his a$$ off.

Originally Posted by icehog3:
I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.

As long as you leave someone alive to tell the tale and warn the others, I'm good with that.

Originally Posted by OLS:
This is where I usually get into the religion argument, but that is not allowed. But you get a lot of that
from people who are so constitutionally protected that they begin to forget that I have rights, too.

But I will relate how a guy got slapped full on the face at work in Meridian Mississippi one day.
It turned to a slap because a punch would have gotten me fired, and a ***** slap seemed the way to go.

New guy walks out to the smoking area, heading for a shoot of some sort, and passes by the outcasts
and says, "hey, can I get one of those??" SO I pull out a Marlboro Light, and seeing it was my last one,
I say "Normally I would never give up my last smoke, but seeing as how you are new..." He breaks it in
half and stomps on the remains and says, "smoking is bad for you" and so I slap him right across the face, hard.
And I said "so is taking a man's last smoke during sweeps when I can't leave the station and I am working
16 hour days you FU^$ing F^@&!" I got called in to my bosses office, not because the guy complained,
but because one of the other smokers told him about it. I thought I was fired. He was too scared to relate
the story apparently. The boss suggested I not put my hands on people I worked with or I might be subject
to not just workplace discipline, but a lawsuit as well. Then he lauged his a$$ off.

Image

Originally Posted by icehog3:
I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.

Originally Posted by icehog3:
Unless I could find out where her parents and siblings lived.

You have just earned the most awesome outside of the box thinking brother of the year award!

:-)

Originally Posted by GolfNut:
I keep waiting for him to come out and say"just kidding guys". Outrageous.

Seriously....seems almost impossible to believe.

Originally Posted by icehog3:
I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.

Originally Posted by BC-Axeman:
I used to joke around like this a lot, until I got married. Now I only tell these kind of things to my invisible friends.

What makes you think Tom is joking?

:-)

Originally Posted by galaga:
We are Tom's invisible friends.......:-)

I cannot stop "hearing" Rick's post in Fight Club narrator voice:

"I am Jack's smirking revenge."

O.o leave for a few hours and the thread sprouts wings

She came up from behind-ish, so by the time I saw the b*ch, it was too late, I don't really like going to jail, so I just verbally assaulted her, and I found out she has been charged with tresspassing, and destruction of property, since the pulling the cigar out of my mouth would be hard to prove :-) anyway, $15<permanent record + court fees + any other fees

It all equaled out, plus I just got birthday bombed by my own fiance :-) my luck!

"I am Jack's broken heart."

Oh really? So she did get charged with these things?

Well then while it totally sucks that your cigar was ruined...seems like karma got the best of this psychotic lady. If it were me in your position I would be satisfied with those results!

Yep, she's been charged :-) needless to say, I lol'd