BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever - Page 3 - Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum

"Pursuant to Megan's Law, I am obligated to tell you that I am a convicted sex offender."

Props to Tucker Max... I laughed so hard when I read that he actually used this line on a girl.
[Reply]

Using the guise of plausible denial....

""Nice a$$....get in the truck""

And I can neither confirm nor deny that it works.

:-)
[Reply]

I have some more....
-Can I read your T shirt in brail?
- Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I’m here after.
- You've got 206 bones in your body. Want one more?
- I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock
-Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
- I'm a necrophiliac. How good are you at playing dead?
:-)
[Reply]

Originally Posted by macpappy:
Who needs pickup lines?
Three weeks ago my son and I go out for a drink at a local bar. We sit down, light our cigars and 20 minutes later a women who claimed she was a professional barrel racer sat down next to me and tried to pick me up. She started by saying, "That cigar smells good..."

Last week, my son and I went to a different bar. Grabbed a table in the corner and a pitcher of beer. The table next to us has a really hot brunette with very nice tattoos covering parts of her body made visible by a very low cut crop top t-shirt. When her boyfriend leaves, she turns around, puts her hands on my leg and tells me she likes my cigar and my t-shirt (I was wearing a freaking t-shirt I bought at wally word, for gods sake).

It must have been the cigars....

I just want to know what you've been smoking...???!!!!:-)
[Reply]

I'm getting old! If I had used most of those in my day I would be sitting in jail now!
[Reply]

Have you ever seen the fore peak of an ocean racer
[Reply]

Originally Posted by LooseCard:
I just want to know what you've been smoking...???!!!!:-)

Illusione 888. Both times.
[Reply]

the next time a girl touches you like that look in her eyes...

you'll see dollar signs floating around :P
[Reply]

That (dress, shirt, bikini, or whatever she's wearing) is very becoming on you....of course if I was on you I'd be cumming too

If we were both squirrels would you let me bust my nut in your hole?

never worked for me, but your results may vary
[Reply]

Ever ride a fat boy?.....................................Want too?
[Reply]

Did you fart? Because you blew me away.
[Reply]

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
[Reply]

Originally Posted by skullnrose:
For the record I am not Fred Flintstone but I sure would love to make your Bedrock!

:-) :-) :-)
[Reply]

Originally Posted by CBI_2:
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

:-):-):-)NICE!!!!
[Reply]

Originally Posted by CBI_2:
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

:-)

I think this might be the funniest post I've ever read on CA.
[Reply]

Originally Posted by CBI_2:
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

This is the only one that works 90%+ of the time.....never tried it...but how could it fail.

I've heard nearly all of these, some from carlin, some from movies.
[Reply]

Originally Posted by Mugen910:
You must be a speeding ticket...because you got FINE written all over you!!
:-)

:-) :-) :-)
[Reply]

Hi, did you know I am the world greatest tongue wrestler...want a title match?
[Reply]

I don't use pick up lines. When I was 21, I came up with a great idea (what I thought was a great idea, anyways): read cosmo. There's always articles in there about how a woman can tell if you're good in bed. It gives her things to look for. Just do those things. You know how many women read cosmo? I swear, it's like cheating.
[Reply]