Oh, the Humanity. Poor, Poor Mac, watching his Mets die slowly...slipping lower and lower in the standings, clutching to the fading hope of a wildcard slot like a damsel in distress clinging to a slowly fraying rope over a dark abyss...

It's not like they could be like Baltimore, or Pittsburgh...Flame out early so their fans don't have to suffer like this... They cling to life, with the scent of a season saving "Miracle Mets" type rally wafting through the tortured souls of their loyal fans. They make you twist and turn in the wind, agonizing every loss, winning just enough to remain "mathematically" viable as long as they can...then...Poof. They finally set their sights on the off season...promising all kinds of changes for the next go-round. As a San Diego Chargers Fan, I so can empathize with him.

Yet with six games to play against the Phillies, three against the Braves, they have hope... a slim one, but hope that carries them through the beginning of August, then in September, yet more Phillies and Braves games in September, more Marlins, more chances to climb...or fail. Poor Mac's Torment is destined to go on for weeks...if not months.

Fortunately not all Mets fans are committed to state run mental institutions...some are here, in this asylum...here, where they can be comforted by their BOTLs in the form of wee little boxes that come in the mail. Isn't that nice?

I beseech you, high and mighty Yankees fans, You band wagon jumping Phillies Phanatics, You West Coast Dodgers Doodz...and yes, even you heartbroken Red Sox fans... Comfort this tortured soul. Comfort him with the one thing that soothes his agonizing heart...Maduro.

His mindless loyalty to the Mets is second only to the devotion he has to his BOTLs, thus it is up to us to attempt to temper the heart wrenching, soul tearing agony he must endure season after season...week after week, inning after painful inning.

I hereby propose a Kelmac Comfort Crusade, where interested parties set aside 1 single stogie per loss...from this date forward...(They're 50-49 as of today.) That's 99 of some 162 regular season games already played, 63 left to go. the masochistic bastards will probably lose Just enough of them to miss the playoffs. At the end of the regular season, Ship your Central American Hand Made Comfort to our BOTL. If they somehow make the playoffs, then...we will allow Mac to decide where they go...if anywhere.

I know, I know, He's already sMACked me for conspiring against him in public. But Brothers of the Leaf, don't consider this a bomb...call it um...Psychotherapy...call it suicide prevention....call it consolation... And as a side benefit, we can all finally have a reason (albeit a small one) to take interest in the Mets.

I know some may look at this as some sort of massive, coordinated retaliation for all the sMACsause he's spread around...No, BOTLs, it's not like that. It's genuine pity...erm...empathy...for a guy who will surely need it.
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Tis a painful thing being a Met fan, more so when you are surrounded by Yankee fans.

This morning walking through the supermarket, and older woman came up to me, and said "Thats a Cubs, are you a Cub fan?" to which I replied, "No, I'm a Met fan, I just was out in Wrigley for the weekend, and picked up the hat"

"You know,The cubs are losing Lou Pinella, he was a yankee, And your mets aren't so well right now"

At this juncture I had two responses lined up:
"Let me guess, you must be a Yankee fan, You probably also root for bad guys in movies, US Steel, and the Soviet Union in the Lake Placid Olympics. Oh and you must love to kick babies."

But I went wit the more reserved
"Must be a Yankee fan, good season you are having" Than ducked my head and walked away.

I think I've come to realize that we will always be a team that people poke fun at. Met fans are crazy loyal, and have taken abuse for ever, I just know that deep down when (if) we do win another World Series, it will be that much sweeter.
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Hilarious. I would have gone with the first one. At least you, sir, seem to have some sort of emotional defenses built up, some coping mechanisms that are surely a sign of a healthy mind. As a Chargers fan, (0-1 in the big dance, perennial playoff attendees with 1st and 2nd round losses) I know how necessary the requisite emotional defenses are in rooting for a team forever mired in mediocrity. The added cruelty for METS fans is that you have to contend with the additional hope inspired by the occasional successful venture into the playoffs. Mac, however is bereft of such emotional armor. Each loss, each blown save, each scoreless inning leaves him writhing in pain much akin to a mental burn victim being debrided after a car fire. WE NEED TO HELP THIS TORTURED SOUL. As a fellow mets fan, you understand his torment better than anyone. Bless you.
Which leaves the question, Kind sir....are you with me?
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NO!!!! There is ZERO need for a "Kelmac Comfort Crusade"!!! We Mets fans have LEARNED to live with the agony of defeat. It's just that each year, they find another way to do it. What there is a need for...is for more Mets fan to post in this thread!! :-) :-)
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They all already do, Mac. There's just not many left.

And Yes, You need comfort...I know you think you don't...but we can see the pain in your soulful eyes, especially at our herfs at Bailey's, where you are bombarded from the multiple ESPN Flat screens by the ongoing games of your rivals...where they are doing un-metlike things like...Hitting the baseball and stuff. We feel for you...we really do.

Denial is a phase...we understand.
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METS WIN...finally!!! :-)
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And so the torture continues.
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You have to admit, he is a loyal fan. :-):-)
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What in the heck did you say??? Did you say MAC is sensitive???? Where did you come up with that?????:-):-)
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hey, the perfect home stand starts tonight!
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Just roared with Laughter!:-):-)

I nominate Bo for line of the day.:-)
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I think BOTH of you have already posted Mac! :-)
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I see that Keith...and he ran out the door a LONG time ago. :-) :-)
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:-):-)....but you always got the REST OF US to chime in with "constructive" comments!!
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This statement holds a few underlying assumptions that I believe should be explored.

1. In order for more "fans" to post in here you're assuming that they can type.

2. In order to type, you're assuming that they have some level of education.

3. If they are in fact educated, then you're assuming that they are not "stupid."

4. If they are not "stupid" then they can not be a Mets fan.

You might argue that my last statement is merely an assumption as well, but I'm telling you...a man HAS TO BE STUPID to be a Mets fan! This is a fact. :-)
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"icantbejon"....but can be Aristotle!!
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Well, I dunno about that...there is the whole nature vs. nurture controversy. Could be in the Genetic programming...could be out of some sort of misguided loyalty to a childhood influence...It could be some form of masochistic self inflicted punishment for percieved sins of a misguided youth...it could carry an element of "I Hate the Yankees, therefore I must like the Mets."

Now, many Mets fans bear their cross with dignity and calm...some keep the success and failure of that team at arm's length. Some, grounded in reality, decide that they like the Mets, but don't have realistic hopes for any sort of real success. They get along just fine.

But there are those, like Mac, wearing his heart on his sleeve and a Mets logo on his ballcap, who dream about a return to greatness...who actually looked up in an encyclopedia somewhere that the Mets have actually won the World Series, have actually had years where they didn't crumble down the stretch...and who bear true faith and allegiance to the same...unnaturally loyal, steadfast in their orange and blue dreams of playoff contention, who every April say "THIS is the year!"...and hold that faith until September or so...and the cruelest trick of fate send them crashing into a depression.

These are the Kelmacs of the world. They are dangerously close to the brink of self immolation every time ESPN announces that they are mathematically eliminated from playoff contention, that they are not going to get that Wildcard berth. Mac even stated that he's willing to give up Cigars to see if that changes the luck the Mets are having. This is why we must step up and come to his aid. the Kelmac comfort crusade... 1 Stick per loss until the end of the season. Who's in?
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If I know one thing...it is that Mac needs no comforting for his "condition." He needs an intervention. We, as friends, need to show him why there is no hoping continuing down the path he is on. We'll show him what a "winning way" looks like...through a series of successful examples...and get him back on the right track. We need to try and break the losers affliction he has.
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Perhaps we will be more successful if we had a better picture of just where he went wrong.

Mac how did you become a Mets fan?

This is when the picture gets blurry, and as it comes back into focus, I'm willing to bet it's the summer of 1986.
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Hmmmm...grew up being a Cleveland Indians fan. can remember going to Municipal Stadium as a kid with my father and just being mesmerized. Well, we all know that Cleveland is a perenial loser and when I grew old enough to actually understand baseball history, I became a big fan of the New York Mets. I can't actually way what drew me to the Mets. :-) :-)

As for Ghost and Ferg...I have my fingers in my ears and am repeatedly saying "I can't hear you, I can't hear you, I can't hear you..."!!! :-) :-)
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