Update, redacted, with footnote:

NYY = AL East Champs

SLC = NL Central Champs

'Nuff said there.

(y) Los Angeles (this season) Angels = 0 : LA crushes Rangers 11-zip to kill 2 with one stoning. Yet they'd better turn things around in this last week if they plan to see much of October baseball anywhere but the tube.

(x) La Brea Tarpits = 1 : Earlier I was so bold as to denigrate MLB nabobs for scheduling Gnats and Pitts so late against the Dodgers, but with them going 3-4 in those games it seems clinching the NL West is what they're dodging. I confess my sin, yet is it "mea culpa" or "they'a culpa"? Your call.

Walt Whitmans = 3 : Phillies keep diddling around, and Braves still on warpath - but unless Phils are channelling the Mets, and Atlanta receives some divine intervention, the only thing at stake here is pride.

Wyandotte WhyNots = 6 : PPD/rain with Twins last night, which rarely happens in the Metrodome, but did happen in the Motor City. Double-Dip today, which baseball pundits say favors the Tigers since it's hard to win a double-header. I admit I never quite got that. Don't they play them one atta time? And if it's hard for Twinkies to win 2, is it not also hard for the Tigers too? Oh, BTW, the first game just ended, and Twins win in 10 innings to move within 1 game of drowning Kitties. Thus I repeat - hmmmm.

(x) = clinched playoff spot; (y) = clinched division title

Continues, for what appears to be too much longer still.
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Update, w/footnote and addendum:

NYY = AL East Champs

SLC = NL Central Champs

LAA = AL West Champs

Windsor Losesirs = 4 : Tigers win the nightcap, barely, and cut number by a third. But both they and the Twins are still do-or-die, though the onus is on the Twinkies. If they take these next two in Detroit it's Katy bar the door.

Camden Yardbirds = 1 : Braves end hot streak with a loss, and Phillies actually win a game. This could end tonight. This could make us suffer for another day or three. Me, I don't much care either way.

(x) Elysian Park Fielders = 1 : Make that "3 up and 5 down" against the bottom-feeders of the NL (well, actually, the Padres are slightly above the D'backs, but who's counting?). Joe Torre didn't have a lot of hair to start with, and will look like Don Zimmer before the Dodgers finally end this pain.

Addendum:

(x) Yawkey Wayfarers back their Big Poopies into wildcard with their 5th loss in a row, thanks to the Angels victory and Texas's continued collapse, and celebrate behind closed doors with the champagne - of bottled beer. Boston better add some 'jo to their mo' quickly if they don't want LA to run them out of October, figuratively and literally.

(x) = Clinched playoff spot

Yeah, you know - continues.
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Update, w/oblgatory footnotes:

NYY = Al East Champs

SLC = NL Central Champs

LAA = AL Wast Champs

BRS = AL Wild Card

Belle Isle Belles = 2 : Detroit won last night, but lost today big, 13-7. Guess Minnesota missed the PAT. Twins leave town the same way they entered, 2 games back, but with only 3 to go this should be over - however, considering it's the AL Central, who knows?

(y) Philadelphia Phillies = 0 : Well, whaddaya know? As crappy as Phils have been playing, they join the few who haven't backed into the playoffs with their win last night against Astros. Congratulations to the defending WS champions. Now let's see what they can do now that it counts. If they only had their closer from last year, and not this Lidge fellow, they could have a shot at repeating.

(x) Angelino Lows = 1 : Madre mia, another loss, to the Padres this time. In case you haven't noticed, Rockies are only 2.5 behind, and just 2 in the loss column. It is likely too late for Dodgers to grab the wild card away from Colorado, but if they keep trying as hard as this, they just might.

(x) = Clinched playoff spot; (y) = Clinched division championship

Continues.
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watch out for my rockies....they clinched at least the wild card and can still win the division with 3 more wins....best record in baseball since new manager took over in June....

they are going to sneak up on people....

If im a philly or card....be very afraid
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Update, with footnote and addendum:

NYY = AL East Champs

SLC = NL Central Champs

LAA = AL West Champs

BRS = AL Wild Card

PP = NL East Champs

Harper Woods Tigers = 2 : No, not Tiger Woods, Harper. Detroit finishes up hosting the White Sox, who are meh this season, while Twins face the Royals, who are sub-meh this millenium. A win here, a loss there, and it's done - yet it would not shock me to see this torture continue.

(x) Forest Lawn Caretakers = 1 : And apparently what they are taking care for is ending this season. You might recall that, for a good amount of time, Dodgers had the best record in baseball and were on cruise control. Well lately they have lost control - which is not only dangerous on LA freeways, but has left a door open for . . .

(x) Coors Lights = N/A : However, as Doug notes, Rockies are hot and LA is not, and they go head-to-head with only 2 games between them. Colorado is in regardless, but a sweep would mean the flip-flop here. Further, although it is unlikely, note that they have the same record as Cards and only one win/loss worse than Phils, so it is just barely possible Rockies could end up with the best NL record and home-field advantage for first 2 rounds. Yet don't bet the farm on that one - and don't bet the farm they'd even survive that long anyway.

(x) = Clinched playoff spot

Continues.
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Update, with footnote and kudo:

NYY = AL East Champs

SLC = NL Central Champs

LAA = AL West Champs

BRS = AL Wild Card

PP = NL East Champs

Melvin Dales = 2 : As in Chip 'n Dale, although it's really still the same old Alphonse/Gaston crap we've come to expect, and loath. With 2 games left for both teams, Twinkies are but 1 game back. They have no margin for error while Tigers can lose one, if they dare. You know, this would be exciting - if anyone truly thought either one had a legitimate shot in the playoffs. And speaking of being 1 game back . . .

(x) Griffith Observatories = 1 : . . . though it does not take a telescope for the Dodgers to see the Rockies in their rearview mirror, as they are only 1 game back after their victory last night. If you're looking for some fun this weekend, it's in Chavez Ravine, where Colorado needs both games to extend their streak to 7 Ws, LA's to 7 Ls, and jump them like that celebrated frog. Both teams are in regardless, but it makes for meaningful baseball pre-post-season.

(x) Wazee St. Wazoos = N/A : ibid.

(x) = Clinched playoff spot

Kudos need be offered to B.J. Upton for his performance last night in the Rays victory over the Yankees. Although it meant little except for a bit of pride, as this is the only October baseball the defending AL champions will enjoy this season, one cannot overlook his 5-for-5, 6 RBIs, and - oh yeah - hitting for the cycle, the first in Tampa Bay history. Give the young man a hand, ladies and gents.

Continues, for one more weekend update.
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Final weekend update, with footnotes, kudo and lament:

NYY = AL East Champs

SLC = NL Central Champs

LAA = AL West Champs

BRS = AL Wild Card

PP = NL East Champs

(y) Los Angeles Dodgers = 0 : Finally. After holding a six-game lead with seven to play, the Dodgers at last stopped dodging their NL West Championship and actually beat the Colorado Rockies - twice, even! Good golly Miss Molly, they eventually balled, which means . . .

(x) Colorado Rockies = Lost their way into the NL Wild Card, yet you've got to give them props for giving some late excitement to this race that never should have been - unlike the one I so brilliantly predicted . . .

Detroit/Minnesota = 1 : Alphonse, meet Gaston. Shake hands, have a clean fight, and may the lesser lousy team win. Oh, and if anyone is interested (I'm not, but that's another issue), I understand that Bucky Dent is available for a 1-day contract.

(y) = Clinched division championship

(x) = Clinched wildcard spot

Just as kudos were earned by Upton, I feel everybody's favorite boo-who Alex Rodriguez deserves a bump here. Not only did A-Rod have 7 RBIs with 2 HRs, and all in the same inning, but by doing so he helped the Yankees set a new team record for HRs in a season, and on a personal note he ended his regular season with a symmetrical 30 HRs and 100 RBIs - this after missing the first 6 weeks of the year due to his surgery, thus making his next 6 weeks be in effect his spring training. Plus, to add to the symmetry, note this trivia point - when A-Rod returned to the team after rehab, he hit the very first pitch he saw for a home run. Yesterday, he hit the very last pitch he saw for a home run. How often does that happen?

I need lament the fact here that the season is not yet over, thanks to the mediocrity of the AL Central. As Ozzie Guillen himself stated earlier this year, while his White Sox were struggling on the road, "We are losing all these games, but not losing any ground - that's because we ALL suck!". Now, don't get me wrong - there's nothing wrong per se with a one-game playoff to end the season, but it should be a game between teams that have some juice and history - Yanks/Red Sox, Dodgers/Giants, Cards/Reds, Braves/Mets - but who the heck beside their fans give a damn about Tigers/Twins? Just my :-) , but as this is my lament, that's all that matters.

May or may not continue.
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Final final update update:

NYY = AL East Champs

SLC = NL Central Champs

LAA = AL West Champs

BRS = AL Wild Card

PP = NL East Champs

LAD = NL West Champs

CR = NL Wild Card

Detroit . . . no, no, Minnesota Twins = 0 : Well, the Tigers kept backing up, backing up, backing up, trying their best to back into The Bronx, and eventually ended up backing out of it completely. Seems 162 games were not enough to settle this division, and turned out even 163 wasn't enough either - it took 163 1/3 games. Congratulations to the Twinkies, who fought hard for the last 20+ games to make this happen. As for the Tigers, who either led or was tied for the lead for 5 months, and who had a 7-game lead this time last month - well, you're not the 1951 Brooklyn Dodgers, so there's that, yet you and your fans have to be hurting now. But look on the bright side: Not only did you have an exciting run and finish - your magic number for 2010 is only 163.

So this is finally set, and as I post it has already begun - Colorado and Philly are scoreless after 3. Pick your teams, root for your favorites, and if you have no dog in this fight - well, wait 'til next year. Enjoy.
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