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General Discussion>Did I do wrong? Long read very adult/serious issue
kzm007 11:49 AM 12-27-2009
Originally Posted by Bruins Fan:
Run..Forrest..run.
Originally Posted by ashtonlady:
You sound like what my daughter is dealing with. I told her that people that try to date from keyboards have something to hide. There is something about being able to look at someones face as you talk to them that makes things make sense. I agree go local and if the turn you down it was there choice, that doesnt mean there is something wrong with you. It means they dont like that flavor of jelly bean.
1. Hilarious considering I've been called Forrest because of the crutches/braces at one point. Stupid Tom Hanks and his miracle lol damn Hollywood.

2. Kids and keyboards is how it's done today. You meet online, MySpace, Facebook, or a nice cigar forum, and then you arrange a face to face. I trust her because nobody could make up a story like that, and I heard a snippet of a phone call she caught on, where her grandfather was discussing the molestation, so I believe all of it.

Face to face is scary. 80 percent of people would rather die than do public speaking...and 80 - 85 percent of individuals left with the task of cleaning up a suicide scene go on to commit it themselves.

As for the money, I'm buying books I know she has, I've seen, and an iPod or two I planned to fix. We'll see, it's a gamble.

And for the record, most girls seem to have baggage any more. Hard pressed to find a virgin in this area, not that it matters, and I know a handful of girls who've done the cutting BS...crazy chit, my friends.

I'll tread lightly though...I'm a good Samaritan at least...Jerusalem to Jericho, Heaven to hell and back again...story of my life.

You're all good guys. Thanks.
[Reply]
Tombstone 12:04 PM 12-27-2009
Originally Posted by replicant_argent:
Shop locally. Stay away from drama queens and women with a truck full of baggage and problems. Women like that only make your life worse and worse, their life never gets uncomplicated. Sounds harsh, but the best advice I could give, Keegan.
:-)
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Eleven 12:44 PM 12-27-2009
Originally Posted by replicant_argent:
Shop locally. Stay away from drama queens and women with a truck full of baggage and problems. Women like that only make your life worse and worse, their life never gets uncomplicated. Sounds harsh, but the best advice I could give, Keegan.
This.

No need to repeat what has been said but life is too short to smoke bad cigars.

You know what I mean.
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shilala 12:48 PM 12-27-2009
Originally Posted by Eleven:
This.

No need to repeat what has been said but life is too short to smoke bad cigars.

You know what I mean.
That is some serious prophetic stuff.
My girlfriend lives 2 hours away and it's a pain in the ass.
Worth it, but still a pain in the ass. :-)
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GTCanuk 12:58 PM 12-27-2009
All I got to say what is with women name Katie:-)
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icehog3 01:39 PM 12-27-2009
Originally Posted by kzm007:
and 80 - 85 percent of individuals left with the task of cleaning up a suicide scene go on to commit it themselves.
Kegan, you know I am rooting for you to do whatever you need to be happy, you deserve it.

I do have to take exception to the comment I quoted you on though, and ask where that statistic came from.
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M1903A1 01:53 PM 12-27-2009
Originally Posted by icehog3:
I do have to take exception to the comment I quoted you on though, and ask where that statistic came from.
I have to agree.
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Thrak 02:00 PM 12-27-2009
Did I miss the part where you have actually met these ladies in person or was EVERYTHING online?


FWIW, 1 in 5 divorces mention Facebook in the papers.... just saying.
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alley00p 02:37 PM 12-27-2009
Kegan, :-) from a FOG...

I've been married twice in 38 years. The first to a very nice girl I met in Las Vegas, while I was in the Air Force. Unfortunately, she wasn't mature enough to be away from her extended family in Vegas, which led to our divorce after 5 years.

I was fortunate to meet my current wife of 33 years, during a company softball game and picnic. We have raised 3 boys of our own, along with my oldest son from my first marriage. There was no "online" stuff then, and everyone I knew met their girlfriends or spouses in person. There's something to be said about meeting someone in person, instead of through a computer.

FWIW, I only know one couple, who met through the old "Usenet" groups, and they have been married for 8 years. But they seem to be the exception.

I'd look for people to meet closer to home. especially if you want to create a relationship. This advice is worth exactly what you paid for it! :-)

Good luck in your life, my friend!

:-)
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junkinduck 03:19 PM 12-27-2009
95% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
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Don Fernando 05:03 PM 12-27-2009
Originally Posted by ashtonlady:
I told her that people that try to date from keyboards have something to hide.
I have to disagree with you here Laura. One of my best friends since childhood is happily married and has 2 wonderful kids with a woman he met online. And there are more people I know that are in steady relationships now but met online.
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Ashcan Bill 05:12 PM 12-27-2009
Here's my personal opinion.

Regardless of whether the relationship starts face-to-face or on-line, I think the vast majority of long distance relationships eventually fade away. While there are always exceptions, over the long run they are pretty rare.

Sooner or later people want more than what a virtual relationship has to offer, and find it with someone closer to home. A true relationship involves more than phone calls and banging away on a keyboard. And no matter what you may believe, an on-line relationship doesn't provide the emotional support and bonding you achieve in a physical relationship. It just doesn't.

If all you're looking for is friendship, that's one thing. Looking for a girlfriend on-line is quite another.

Whether you choose to accept it or ignore it, Pete's advice is likely the best you'll receive.


Originally Posted by replicant_argent:
Shop locally.

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loki 05:22 PM 12-27-2009
support your local b&ms and single mothers :-)
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floydpink 06:24 PM 12-27-2009
Kegan,

Distance sometimes makes the heart grow fonder, but it never works in a relationship.

Move on.

PS. I'm so much cooler online.
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hotreds 06:50 PM 12-27-2009
I think you have your answer. While it is commendable that you want to help these people, you are being drawn into a swirling vortex of bad. You have one life to live; it's not worth being dragged down into the mud by people you really don't even know!

God Bless you in 2010, I know all the brothers and sisters here join in sending you nothing but good wishes for the New Year!
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RevSmoke 08:21 PM 12-27-2009
Keegan,

I appreciate your laudable goals. You want advice? Get out and meet someone. Yeah, it is risky. Yes, rejection hurts. it is so much easier to hide behind a keyboard.

Yes, there are those who have made it work.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but, I gotta ask. In regard to dating, what are you hiding while behind your keyboard? What is she hiding behind her keyboard?

As for you statistics about suicide and those who clean up the mess, that's malarky.

Get off the keyboard and get out and meet some people.

God's blessings to you.

Peace of the Lord be with you.
[Reply]
replicant_argent 09:01 PM 12-27-2009
Originally Posted by kzm007:
Kids and keyboards is how it's done today. You meet online, MySpace, Facebook, or a nice cigar forum, and then you arrange a face to face. I trust her because nobody could make up a story like that, and I heard a snippet of a phone call she caught on, where her grandfather was discussing the molestation, so I believe all of it.
And for the record, most girls seem to have baggage any more. Hard pressed to find a virgin in this area, not that it matters, and I know a handful of girls who've done the cutting BS...crazy chit, my friends.
Remarkably, good people found partners before keyboards. Get out of your own head and habits. If you think the barrel is full of "spoiled" fish, find another barrel. Find another group of acquaintances. Change a few habits and ways of doing things. You will meet new people. Change the paradigm. It might take more than you expect. For that matter, it may be well worth every change you make to stay away from people that will not make your life better, no matter how much you want to help them.
[Reply]
M1903A1 10:48 PM 12-27-2009
Originally Posted by replicant_argent:
it may be well worth every change you make to stay away from people that will not make your life better, no matter how much you want to help them.
YES!!!!!!!!

I wish I could get back all the time and money I wasted, and forget the emotional roller coasters I got bounced around on (sometimes for years), before I figured out this bit of erstwhile common sense.
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KidRock 10:53 PM 12-27-2009
The last few post have hit it right on the HEAD.

My ex lives 3 hours away from me. I work ALOT of hours and get paid in pizza sauce and personal pan pizzas. I realized it takes two people not one.

The FOGs here are wise and well trusted....:-)
[Reply]
kzm007 01:03 AM 12-28-2009
I'll have to second Rock's agreement; I understand what you're both trying to tell me, and I can use it, but at the moment, I can't change any possible paradigm without the doctor using the scalpel and easing that pain first.

A man wouldn't ride a canyon on a dying horse, looking for greener pastures (well, today he might, with animal rights) he would put the fellow down and get a new horse. And hopefully that's what this little dissection will do is to re-route some trails so travel's a little smoother when he sobers up and finds the keys to his Arabian :-)

My problem is not that I'm too trusting - I didn't like a group of people one time, but I acted like they did and blended in - my problem is that my heart's too big and too soft for my own good. When I become a hard-hearted bastage with a heart the size of a pebble like the wise FOGs here :-) then I'll be better suited to do what I set out to do.
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