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General Discussion>Ask The Rabbi!!
macms 09:33 PM 07-13-2009
Originally Posted by TomHagen:
BTW, many were interested in www.noahide.org - it is again up and running with a beautiful new website!!!

www.noahide.org:-)
That addy isn't working. Try this one.

http://www.noahide.com/index.htm
[Reply]
woops 09:43 PM 07-13-2009
Rabbi - I'm wondering about other Jewish fasting traditions. Other than fasting on certain holy days, are there guidelines for how many times per year and how many days a fast lasts?
[Reply]
TomHagen 09:34 AM 07-16-2009
Originally Posted by macms:
That addy isn't working. Try this one.

http://www.noahide.com/index.htm
www.noahide.org - works fine for me with a beautiful new website!!!
[Reply]
DougBushBC 09:40 AM 07-16-2009
Rabbi, I'm Roman Catholic and my Girlfriend is Reform Jewish. How does the Jewish Faith view such an interfaith marriage when we start heading that way?
Posted via Mobile Device
[Reply]
TomHagen 09:42 AM 07-16-2009
Originally Posted by woops:
Rabbi - I'm wondering about other Jewish fasting traditions. Other than fasting on certain holy days, are there guidelines for how many times per year and how many days a fast lasts?
Typically we do not fast except for the prescibed days.
The fast is either 25 hrs or starts from the morning until evening (when 3 stars appear in the sky), depending on which fast day.

Here's a list:
Yom Kippur 10 Tishrei

First of Nisan: the sons of Aaron were destroyed in the Tabernacle.

Seventeenth of Tammuz: the tablets were broken; the regular daily sacrifice ceased; Apostemus burned the Law, and introduced an idol into the holy place; the breaking into the city by the Romans (Ta'an. 28b).

Ninth of Ab: it was decreed that Jews who went out of Egypt should not enter Palestine; the Temple was destroyed for the first and the second time; Bether was conquered, and Jerusalem plowed over with a plowshare

Third of Tishri: Gedaliah and his associates were assassinated in Mizpah (II Kings xxv. 25).


Tenth of Ṭebet: the siege of Jerusalem by Nebuchadnezzar began (II Kings xxv. 1; Jer. lii. 4).
[Reply]
TomHagen 09:43 AM 07-16-2009
Originally Posted by DougBushBC:
Rabbi, I'm Roman Catholic and my Girlfriend is Reform Jewish. How does the Jewish Faith view such an interfaith marriage when we start heading that way?
Posted via Mobile Device
PM me.
[Reply]
TomHagen 09:55 AM 07-16-2009
Originally Posted by jjirons69:
Thanks for the info, Rabbi. Good stuff here.

Two questions:
Good ones.
1. Now, the Jewish belief is our body is not our own to desecrate. No tatoos, etc. So why is it that circumcision is not viewed as such? The body is being altered. Also, wouldn't smoking and drinking, ways to potentially harm or change the body, be viewed in the same light.
Firstly, you are right about tatoos for Jews. But there is no connection with circumcision. Circumcision is a Commandment for the Jewish people given by G-d Himself to Avraham as an everlasting covenant called a Bris. One is a person's haphazzard decision, vs. G-d's Commandment (Mitzvah). Drinking and smoking in excess are forbidden, for they definitely do damage to a person's body AND health (whereas I don't know that there is a health risk with tatoos). Drinking and smoking moderately can have positive health and mental benefits and drinking for sacramental purposes or a farbrengen in Judaism is a Mitzvah, a positive act.
2. A few months ago I saw mom, dad, and son at Costco. Dad was late 50s, son, probably 16-18. Both were wearing kippahs. Probably a lot of Jewish folks in Charleston, but I've never seen them wearing the tradition hat. Think they just came from a pary, celebration, or something else? I guess some people wear them all the time, but in the deep South, it's kind of rare.
That's pretty cool. There has been a small ''exodus'' to the Carolinas by Jewish people. I would assume they were Chabad (like me) emissaries who set up grass-roots all-inclusive Jewish org. and communities to assist those with little prior-knowledge/observance. Chabad is the one form of orthodox Jewry that interfaces with the outside world while remainin true to the highest standards of Jewish Law and Mysticism. Did the dad have a beard? If yes, definitely Chabad. If no, possible Modern Orthodox.
There are 2 congregations in Charleston (that I could find) that are possibly where they belong to:
Brith Sholom Beth Israel (BSBI)
182 Rutledge Ave.
Charleston, SC 29403
Phone: 843-577-6599
Fax: 843-577-6699
BSBI is an Orthodox Shul located in the Medical district of Charleston, S.C. We are convenient to several quality hotels that are willing to assist with Shabbos observance. The BSBI Sisterhood Gift Shop is located in the BSBI Shul...more
Email: BS-BI@BS-BI.com
Website: http://www.BS-BI.com
Chabad of the Lowcountry
51 Vincent Dr,
Mt Pleasant, SC 29464 USA
Phone: 843-884-2323
Chabad of Charleston and The Low Country is dedicated to serving all Jews throughout Charleston and The Low Country area with Ahavat Yisrael –unconditional love and concern for every Jew, regardless of background and affiliation. We aim to...more
Email: info@southernspirit.org
ps I can be found in Costco way too often!:-)


Good stuff!

[Reply]
ActionAndy 11:12 AM 07-16-2009
Under what circumstances is violence tolerated? Self defense?
[Reply]
mrreindeer 11:37 AM 07-16-2009
Originally Posted by DougBushBC:
Rabbi, I'm Roman Catholic and my Girlfriend is Reform Jewish. How does the Jewish Faith view such an interfaith marriage when we start heading that way?
Posted via Mobile Device
I'll throw my hand in on this one since I'm a Reform Jew and mrsreindeer is Christian (her mom was raised Mormon, dad raised Catholic but are both now Christian). Now, I'm less spiritually Jewish and more culturally so, as a lot of the modern members of the Tribe are these days....not quite sure why that is but I think, as a whole, a lot of folks (not just Jews) are finding less and less time in their lives to devote to religion and spirituality (myself included, and it's kinda sad, I guess but I haven't done anything to change it nor do I really care at this point in time.....i.e. much too busy with other things that are taking priority).

Mrsreindeer still holds it over my head to this day (not really, she jokes about it)....that on our first date (since she was so smokin' hot) I said, ah heck, hell no, I don't need to marry a Jew. This was a wee bitty little white lie. I was raised Jewish; it's very important to me and I love everything about it culturally as it was a significant part of my upbringing. I was even a Hebrew tutor in Hebrew School and a Teacher's Assistant in Sunday School. I also spent a couple summers at a Jewish Summer Camp in Nova Scotia. Yeah, try and figure that one out...I'm an L.A. native.

So there I was lying to my wife on our first date. What I've had to explain to her is that yeah, in a perfect world, she'd be Jewish and we'd live happily ever after. But hey, I love the poor girl, can't live without her and the world ain't perfect. And marrying her was the very best thing I ever did. Up until possibly September, when we'll be introducing baby Sarah Kelly into the world. Yep, I got the Jewish first name and she's bringing her Irish heritage into the mix. It's awesome.

I think I'm getting off track but just trying to give you a little background. And you know what...we've been married almost 7 years now and haven't had any issues. With each other religiously or with family.

And I was expecting some trouble with my folks. My Dad was raised, I'd say, conservative and my Mom was raised Reform. But they both love mrsreindeer so it was really never an issue. Now, my Dad and stepmom are members of the Church of Religious Science (NOT Scientology) and I'm not quite sure how that happened but they like it so that's good. My mom hasn't been to temple in awhile so she's very relaxed religiously as well.

I guess it all depends on your girlfriend's family. How Reform is she? I'd say you've lucked out there out of all the different levels of Judaism...it'd be tougher, probably, if you guys were talking marriage and she was Conservative or Orthodox.

You might have some trouble with your family but you know your family best.

In the end, what matters most is that you guys love each other, are happy and respectful of each other's religions and your family understands you both, loves you both and respects you both for what you bring to the table.

Now that we're expecting a baby, we realize (and have talked at length) that our child will need some moral direction, lessons in spirituality, etc. and I think we can teach our baby some beautiful aspects of both our religions. It'll be a work in progress but we're happy to tackle it.

Good luck to you!
[Reply]
Mark 11:57 AM 07-16-2009
What's your favorite recipe from the settlement cookbook, rabbi?

:-)
[Reply]
TomHagen 12:44 PM 07-16-2009
Originally Posted by DougBushBC:
Rabbi, I'm Roman Catholic and my Girlfriend is Reform Jewish. How does the Jewish Faith view such an interfaith marriage when we start heading that way?
Posted via Mobile Device
The Jewish faith forbids intermarriage in all its forms.

Being born to a Jewish mother, who was in turn, born to a Jewish mother etc. etc., is what qualifies a person as "Jewish".
Children born to a Jewish mother, no matter who the father is, are in fact - Jewish. There is nothing that can change this. Coversely, children born to a non-Jewish mother, no matter who the father is, are in fact, NON-Jews. The only thing they can do to become Jewish is convert according to Jewish Law.
Moniker's such as "reform", "conservative", "orthodox" etc. really have no bearing on a person's "Jewish-ness".

Here is a great website: http://www.doronkornbluth.com/

I hope this helps!:-)
[Reply]
TomHagen 12:54 PM 07-16-2009
Originally Posted by ActionAndy:
Under what circumstances is violence tolerated? Self defense?
Violence is tolerated in self-defense, and in many cases it is in-fact a Mitzvah, positive commandment.

Here's a great quote from the wisest of all men, King Solomon in Ecclesiastes:

Everything has an appointed season, and there is a time for every matter under the heaven.
A time to give birth and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot that which is planted.
A time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break and a time to build.
A time to weep and a time to laugh; a time of wailing and a time of dancing.
A time to cast stones and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.
A time to seek and a time to lose; a time to keep and a time to cast away.
A time to rend and a time to sew; a time to be silent and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace.

(the Byrds kinda stole this :-))

Sometimes war is necessary. Judaism teaches the supreme value of life, yet we're not pacifists. Wiping out evil is also part of justice. As Rashi explains (Deut. 20:12), dangerous disputes must be resolved. Because if you choose to leave evil alone – it will eventually attack you.



It is ironic that the Jewish people created the basis of Western morality – such as an absolute morality and the concept of the sanctity of life, and today civilizations that rest on our foundation. The values such as respect of life, freedom, and brotherhood, all stem from Judaism.

* * *

Here are the Seven Universal laws of humanity. These “Noachide Laws” are basic to any functioning society:

1) Do not murder.
2) Do not steal.
3) Do not worship false gods.
4) Do not be sexually immoral.
5) Do not eat the limb of an animal before it is killed.
6) Do not curse God.
7) Set up courts and bring offenders to justice.

At the root of these laws lies the vital concept that there is a God Who created each and every person in His image, and that each person is dear to the Almighty and must be respected accordingly. These seven laws are the pillars of human civilization. They are the factors which distinguish a city of humans from a jungle of wild animals.

* * *

Even as the Jews drew close to battle, they were commanded to act with mercy. Before attacking, the Jews offered terms of peace, as the Torah states, "When approaching a town to attack it, first offer them peace." (Deut. 20:10)
[Reply]
TomHagen 12:57 PM 07-16-2009
Originally Posted by BostonMark:
What's your favorite recipe from the settlement cookbook, rabbi?

:-)
DUDE! Excellent question!!!

It's all about brisket in my house!!:-) from my great-grandmother's recipe based on the Settlement Cookbook.
[Reply]
Mark 02:30 PM 07-16-2009
Originally Posted by TomHagen:
DUDE! Excellent question!!!

It's all about brisket in my house!!:-) from my great-grandmother's recipe based on the Settlement Cookbook.
:-)

Nothing better!

:-)
[Reply]
mrreindeer 08:35 AM 07-17-2009
Originally Posted by TomHagen:
The Jewish faith forbids intermarriage in all its forms.

Being born to a Jewish mother, who was in turn, born to a Jewish mother etc. etc., is what qualifies a person as "Jewish".
Children born to a Jewish mother, no matter who the father is, are in fact - Jewish. There is nothing that can change this. Coversely, children born to a non-Jewish mother, no matter who the father is, are in fact, NON-Jews. The only thing they can do to become Jewish is convert according to Jewish Law.
Moniker's such as "reform", "conservative", "orthodox" etc. really have no bearing on a person's "Jewish-ness".

Here is a great website: http://www.doronkornbluth.com/

I hope this helps!:-)
Hey there Tom - I know that's the 'technical' requirement but I fear it leads to misrepresentation to non-Jews and possible promotion of xenophobia for fellow Jews. While it is a technicality, I think DougBushBC should know (and maybe does) that Judaism is a beautiful religion that doesn't impose restrictions. I feel (and I'm sure others do too) that you're Jewish if you want to be Jewish. I feel that it's an individual's choice to choose and shouldn't be restricted to thinking that it's not possible or you're somehow inferior because one's mother isn't Jewish. Obviously, you can convert but still, the above technicality may lead someone to think they're somehow inferior and I don't think that's healthy nor do I think it's the intent of Jewish law. I've met plenty of very religioius Jews whose mothers weren't Jewish. I don't feel that they must convert and I certainly don't feel they're any less Jewish and I guess that's really what I'm getting at. I just don't want folks to get the wrong idea, you know? And I don't want Jews with Jewish mothers to somehow think we're any better than those without truly Jewish mothers or promote to non-Jews that's how we feel. And I don't want Doug to think that his gal's family will shun him and her for possibly marrying and God forbid their marrying be some kind of terrible sin. I'm very grateful that my family welcomed mrsreindeer with open arms and I feel I'm a good person and a good Jew. But that's just me.

Just my two cents. :-)

:-)
[Reply]
TomHagen 11:42 AM 07-17-2009
Originally Posted by mrreindeer:
Hey there Tom - I know that's the 'technical' requirement but I fear it leads to misrepresentation to non-Jews and possible promotion of xenophobia for fellow Jews. While it is a technicality, I think DougBushBC should know (and maybe does) that Judaism is a beautiful religion that doesn't impose restrictions. I feel (and I'm sure others do too) that you're Jewish if you want to be Jewish. I feel that it's an individual's choice to choose and shouldn't be restricted to thinking that it's not possible or you're somehow inferior because one's mother isn't Jewish. Obviously, you can convert but still, the above technicality may lead someone to think they're somehow inferior and I don't think that's healthy nor do I think it's the intent of Jewish law. I've met plenty of very religioius Jews whose mothers weren't Jewish. I don't feel that they must convert and I certainly don't feel they're any less Jewish and I guess that's really what I'm getting at. I just don't want folks to get the wrong idea, you know? And I don't want Jews with Jewish mothers to somehow think we're any better than those without truly Jewish mothers or promote to non-Jews that's how we feel. And I don't want Doug to think that his gal's family will shun him and her for possibly marrying and God forbid their marrying be some kind of terrible sin. I'm very grateful that my family welcomed mrsreindeer with open arms and I feel I'm a good person and a good Jew. But that's just me.

Just my two cents. :-)

:-)
With all due respect, I believe what we are trying to accomplish with this thread is create THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE of xenophobia, which is a unbiased, clear, friendly and truthful source of information about all things Jewish and how Judaism interfaces with the world.

Contary to what you stated, Judaism is a beautiful religion with MANY restrictions, in fact we have 248 positive commandments and 365 negative commandments, equaling 613 Commandments (Mitzvot). The Torah dictates what is and what is not permissible, who is a Jew and prohibits him/her from intermarriage.

That being said, no one should ever feel 'inferior' for not having a Jewish mother, that is a ridiculous assertation. Judaism is a role oreinted religion, everyone's role being important. Like a baseball team, where if a catcher decided to play his position from the pitcher's mound, and the pitcher stood in rightfield... etc. that team would not be functional. THIS is unhealthy, not the slight repositioning of a person's perspective through education and TRUE information about the way the Torah says a Jew should (or should not behave). So too with the world. A Jew has his/her role, a non-Jew theirs, each being wholly (and holy :-)) important to creating a better world. A person cannot just decide to be Jewish, their momma's got to be Jewish or convert. There is no such thing as being 'less Jewish' - a Jew is a Jew and a non-Jew is not Jewish, and wonderfully so - they ( & we) are who they are. That's great about the way G-d created the world. The more we clearly define, through friendly true education and communication, the better off we will all be, truly knowing where we stand and making each other better. This should not cause any harm or inferiority, but the opposite, giving him/her the TRUTH about what they are getting into and they can make an informed decision, not one couched in 'feelings'.

I thank you for your opening these lines of communication in a positive way.

ps the original questioner probably found this thread, and thereby my perspective to be open enough and according to Torah-true Judaism, to even pose this question and to find out about what Judaism says and beneficial PM's have been sent. Good Stuff.:-)
[Reply]
TomHagen 11:52 AM 07-17-2009
Here's a great link:
http://www.chabad.org/library/articl...ermarriage.htm
[Reply]
TomHagen 10:30 PM 07-19-2009
mrreindeer - looking forward to having a smoke with you next time I am in Cali. Thanks for the friendship brotha! :-)
[Reply]
TomHagen 09:08 PM 09-02-2009
Bump... for the new year!
[Reply]
ActionAndy 07:12 AM 09-03-2009
Hello again my friend,

It seems to me that God changes his mind a lot. He used to flatten cities with meteors and now he doesn't seem to be paying attention. I know about the "mysterious ways," but do your texts offer any explanations for this sort of thing? I guess I'm asking why God seems to get "nicer" if you read about him... lol
[Reply]
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