I love to dabble with songs, I do parodies of them when a topic strikes me. This one has sat around a long time. It was written when my boys were younger and they had a school picnic day. At the supper table it was tough to keep the tablecloth from fluttering. This is what I wrote:
The Flat(ulent)ch Man
by, Todd Jerabek
to the tune of the Beatles The Tax Man
As food works in digestive tract,
He cannot help but produce gas.
...cause... CHORUS: ... he's the flatch man,oh, he’s the flatch man..
Give him baked beans he’ll eat them all,
And later still he’ll clear the hall.
...cause... CHORUS
German sausage mit sauerkraut,
Will surely make his buttocks shout.
...cause... CHORUS
A crowded room he’ll violate,
When gaseous fumes from him escape.
...cause... CHORUS
When forced too hard to flatulate,
A greasy stain will permeate,
… cause… CHORUS
When gas mixes with open flame,
Burning pants seams will water tame,
…cause… CHORUS
When gas he tries to slowly leak,
His nickname now is thunder cheeks,
…cause… CHORUS
Courteousness and common sense,
Would be to leave till gas is spent,
...not for the flatch man,
..oh, oh, he’s the flatch man...
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