A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.
The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93.
When he died he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren, and a fifteen-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
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:-)