After the day I've had, I needed to laugh. These helped.
What did the egg say before he was about to get boiled?
It's gonna take me a while to get hard, cuz I just got laid.
President Clinton, Senator Kennedy, and Vice President Quayle are in a spelling bee. Who wins??
Quayle. Clinton and Kennedy both think "Harass" is two words...
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar. Bartender says, “Sorry, we don't serve breakfast.”
A guy calls the hospital. He says, "You gotta send help! My wife's going into labor!"
The nurse says, "Calm down. Is this her first child?"
He says, "No! This is her husband!”
Whats the difference between a pepperoni pizza and someone with a PhD. in Mathematics?
The pepperoni pizza will feed a family of 4.
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