Damn, thanks Brad. That really explains a lot and really does help with trying to understand the addiction. Its getting easier now but it was maddening having a mouth full of nicotine gum, using an electronic cigarette and still wanting to smoke. For the 1st few days the only thing that would work was intentionally making myself sick from nicotine and only that lasted until it wore off. In the end the fear of letting my little girl down and in turn showing her that all the "You can do what ever you put your mind to" is true and keeps me going. My triggers so far have been driving, before bed, and oddly enough my dog (he was always outside with me when i smoke). The other crazy thing is when I did smoke and was smoking a cigar, I would want a cigarette half way through the cigar. I would just lite one up right after the cigar. I'm about 90% convinced that I'm half addicted to nicotine, 25% addicted to the habit and 25% addicted to other **** they put in them. Anyways I'm am pretty stoked because all the cigars and pipes I have smoked lately have been totally different and full of flavors that I either never tasted or are way more intensive. If any guys are on the fence about quitting it is worth it, its not easy but I think because of that in the end makes it all the more rewarding.
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Haha, that's great, your triggers are so much more...legal than mine.
Just to show you how bad it is, I went to NO for a visit last month, and just knowing I would
be around weed, I stopped in and picked up a pack of smokes before I arrived....this is TWO
YEARS WITHOUT A CIGARETTE, and I still did that stupid crap. Killed my beautiful
record and it took 5 weeks to STOP buying smokes. I am now back off of em 'for good'
and it was pretty easy to do, but it was almost like some other person buying the smokes,
like an out of body experience. Funny thing is, I got to NO and found out my friend was
now working a job where he was scared to death to smoke the wacky tobaccy and had not
had any since last time I had seen him. So there was no
nothing, and I killed lung cells
and my 2-year record for NOTHING. What's more, my house that had begun to smell like a
normal person's house again after no smoke for years, I tainted it all back up again with about
7 packs of cigs. But on the good side, I didn't smoke any pot, either. If you can call that 'good', lol.
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My dad used to putter around in his shop in the back yard, working on this or that, fixing
this, inventing that. When he would come across something that required a little thought,
he would light one up. Of course, he smoked in the house watching TV, too, but this was
one of his triggers. Thinking on problems, bedtime, post meals, etc...those were his triggers.
After his cancer diagnosis, he quit smoking naturally. My mother would see him sometimes
in the shop or the yard, he would stop, wipe his sweat, clean his glasses and pat his
pocket where he used to keep his smokes. He would pat it every couple minutes as if
somehow he had forgotten that he had no smokes there. You could just see the pathway
in his mind that this constant reinforcement and addiction had created. It's all about
beating the system, exercising power over the mind. It will present all of your toughest challenges.
But its totally do-able, especially when your REAL incentive is not yourself. My mother,
like I said, couldn't BELIEVE I could watch my father die from what his cigs had done,
see the effects of cancer, and I could still smoke. Bless her heart, she thought it was
all about others. It was all about me, my pleasure, my addiction, my choice. That's why
we lie to the ones we love. "Oh, I quit a long time ago." Of course our hair still smells
like cigs....we can wash our hands, but our clothes and hair tell on us. If its about your
child, you will be able to do it. A couple more days an you can be home free. You have
my sympathies and my support.
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