From our local paper (The Oregonian) today...

Haikus are easy
but sometimes
they don't make
sense.
refrigerator.

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I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come when you call, they stay out all night, and when they're home, they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

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By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.

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Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

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Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
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My favorite!:-):-):-)
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