Mugen910 12:48 PM 06-16-2011
Originally Posted by neoflex:
Sadly, I can relate. My wife is always the one who will bend over backwards to help people out when they need it where I am the one that almost always says "No" or doesn't bother to offer. I learned the lesson a long time ago where my wife still refuses to learn that people love when your there for them when they need it but very rarely return the favor. For example, it's amazing how my wife will take in everyone and their brothers dogs when they go away on vacation etc. but when we need someone to watch our dogs for a few days shockingly no one ever seems to be around, like last week I had to drop $400 to put the dogs in a Doggie Camp because no one was available to watch them while we were in NY but yet we will have other peoples dogs here the next two weeks. Keep in mind our dogs are trained very well and are easy to watch and pretty much self sufficient other than needing to be fed and let out. I also had a situation like forgops not too long ago where we were getting rid of an old couch. Friends of my wifes sister wanted it since they are having a tough time financially right now and could use furniture for their home so we were more than happy to let them have it. After saying they wanted it, it was cluttering up my garage for a month while we waited for them to come get it. After growing tired of having to move it every time I needed to pull out my motorcycle or lawn mower I told my wife that they have a week to pick it up or it's going to the dump. Like you I suddenly became the unreasonable @sshole for putting a time constraint on it.
Yuppers...I have no problem telling people "NO" and I'm very honest with my explanations. They can take it or leave it, I won't be the A-hole and not help out but I most surely won't be the one taken advantage of.
[Reply]
Originally Posted by Mugen910:
Yuppers...I have no problem telling people "NO" and I'm very honest with my explanations. They can take it or leave it, I won't be the A-hole and not help out but I most surely won't be the one taken advantage of.
Hey Bao, I need to move a couch, your Volvo has a roof rack, right?
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forgop 01:05 PM 06-16-2011
Originally Posted by neoflex:
Sadly, I can relate. My wife is always the one who will bend over backwards to help people out when they need it where I am the one that almost always says "No" or doesn't bother to offer. I learned the lesson a long time ago where my wife still refuses to learn that people love when your there for them when they need it but very rarely return the favor. For example, it's amazing how my wife will take in everyone and their brothers dogs when they go away on vacation etc. but when we need someone to watch our dogs for a few days shockingly no one ever seems to be around, like last week I had to drop $400 to put the dogs in a Doggie Camp because no one was available to watch them while we were in NY but yet we will have other peoples dogs here the next two weeks. Keep in mind our dogs are trained very well and are easy to watch and pretty much self sufficient other than needing to be fed and let out. I also had a situation like forgops not too long ago where we were getting rid of an old couch. Friends of my wifes sister wanted it since they are having a tough time financially right now and could use furniture for their home so we were more than happy to let them have it. After saying they wanted it, it was cluttering up my garage for a month while we waited for them to come get it. After growing tired of having to move it every time I needed to pull out my motorcycle or lawn mower I told my wife that they have a week to pick it up or it's going to the dump. Like you I suddenly became the unreasonable @sshole for putting a time constraint on it.
Reminds me of last fall when someone else in this same group wanted to get rid of some furniture. My wife offered to put it in our garage because they just had to get it out of their house. My wife's thought was that we could put it in our garage and sell it on craigslist. I said they can do the same damn thing and not occupy the room in our garage.
Just like last December as well right after back surgery-I sent an email to my group of so-called "friends" asking if anyone was free for maybe 30 min. to help make A/V connections for my built-in entertainment center that was just completed. I was supposed to be on a 10# restriction for a month with no real twisting, turning, bending, etc. Out of 20+ people, do you think a single person responded to run stuff like speaker wire, hdmi cables, and lift up a heavy receiver and center channel speaker on the 4th day after surgery? Nope, it was me and my back certainly paid for it too.
But hey, we're always good for taking dinner to someone else when they have a baby or surgery, not that such an offer was made for either of my 2 back surgeries.
I'm pretty much done with these people.
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neoflex 01:26 PM 06-16-2011
Originally Posted by forgop:
Reminds me of last fall when someone else in this same group wanted to get rid of some furniture. My wife offered to put it in our garage because they just had to get it out of their house. My wife's thought was that we could put it in our garage and sell it on craigslist. I said they can do the same damn thing and not occupy the room in our garage.
Just like last December as well right after back surgery-I sent an email to my group of so-called "friends" asking if anyone was free for maybe 30 min. to help make A/V connections for my built-in entertainment center that was just completed. I was supposed to be on a 10# restriction for a month with no real twisting, turning, bending, etc. Out of 20+ people, do you think a single person responded to run stuff like speaker wire, hdmi cables, and lift up a heavy receiver and center channel speaker on the 4th day after surgery? Nope, it was me and my back certainly paid for it too.
But hey, we're always good for taking dinner to someone else when they have a baby or surgery, not that such an offer was made for either of my 2 back surgeries.
I'm pretty much done with these people.
Glad to see I'm not the only one who feels this way. It just seems as time goes on the majority of the population is becoming more and more self absorbed and all about what can I get out of it or what can you do for me attitude.
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Mugen910 01:30 PM 06-16-2011
Originally Posted by neoflex:
Glad to see I'm not the only one who feels this way. It just seems as time goes on the majority of the population is becoming more and more self absorbed and all about what can I get out of it or what can you do for me attitude.
Lets not get into the "What about me?" mind set. Just keep in mind that some are opportunists in your friendship and others have a more reciprocal mindset. You just have to pick and choose your battles.
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forgop 01:39 PM 06-16-2011
Originally Posted by neoflex:
Glad to see I'm not the only one who feels this way. It just seems as time goes on the majority of the population is becoming more and more self absorbed and all about what can I get out of it or what can you do for me attitude.
I'm more than willing to help when I can-it's just that people never want to reciprocate in kind is what bothers me. Reminds me of a gazebo I put together almost 2 years ago. it took me 2 days to piece together a the roof carrying up piece by piece on a ladder myself than I could have built it on the ground and found 5 people to come over and lift what I had already assembled.
I try to ask for nothing more than 30 minutes of someone's time and you find out that's not even feasible. Nobody's life is THAT busy and I say that as a full time nursing student in an accelerated program with 3 kids/activities.
That's 2 instances I can think of and I hardly EVER ask for help.
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Mugen910 01:43 PM 06-16-2011
Originally Posted by T.G:
Hey Bao, I need to move a couch, your Volvo has a roof rack, right?
Hellz no! No roof rack on my baby but I can tow it
:-)
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pnoon 01:47 PM 06-16-2011
Originally Posted by T.G:
Hey Bao, I need to move a couch, your Volvo has a roof rack, right?
I can help you out, Adam.
What's in it for me?
:-)
Posted via Mobile Device
[Reply]
shilala 01:53 PM 06-16-2011
Duane, when you finally snap, it's gonna be on CNN for days.
I do get your drift on this one, though. We gave my stepdaughter a washer and dryer because we needed it out of here to make room. They've been here for months since we gave them to her, so I finally moved them to the basement.
Usually I don't get rubbed about nothin, but I admit to being pretty jacked off as I dragged them down the cellar steps to get them out of the garage and out of my way.
If I didn't love that kid so much, I'd still be pissed. Instead I've turned my attention to the pile of bicycles I fall over every day.
:-)
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forgop 02:03 PM 06-16-2011
Originally Posted by shilala:
Duane, when you finally snap, it's gonna be on CNN for days.
I do get your drift on this one, though. We gave my stepdaughter a washer and dryer because we needed it out of here to make room. They've been here for months since we gave them to her, so I finally moved them to the basement.
Usually I don't get rubbed about nothin, but I admit to being pretty jacked off as I dragged them down the cellar steps to get them out of the garage and out of my way.
If I didn't love that kid so much, I'd still be pissed. Instead I've turned my attention to the pile of bicycles I fall over every day. :-)
Sometimes, I just feel like Michael Douglas in the movie Falling Down.
:-):-):-) Good movie if you haven't seen it.
I'm a type A personality and plan on working as a nurse in the emergency room. I'm destined for a heart attack-it's not a matter of when, not if and it just chaps my a$$ when people don't use common sense or will take advantage of you any chance they get.
That W&D would have been on the curb for a free appliance pick up before they went up and down a single step had it been me.
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icehog3 02:18 PM 06-16-2011
Unfortunately, a stroke is more likely, Duane.
:-)
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galaga 02:28 PM 06-16-2011
Sounds like you need better friends. Now if you had a regular herf every once and a while, you'd meet a better class of people. I mean, the guys I herf with regularly are @ssholes, but they're certainly able to get you out of a bad mood. And they are helpful too.
:-) :-)
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marge796 02:38 PM 06-16-2011
Originally Posted by forgop:
We attend a class at our church with a number of other couples and we have a charity we're raising some money for to build a well in Ethopia. We have a large garage and our community had a garage sale on Saturday, so we offered to let everyone contribute that wanted to help raise some funds.
Of course, everyone was eager to get the crap out of their house and sent over to ours. Only a handful of people actually physically came out to help set up and "work" during the sale. The rest of the people were more than content dropping their crap off and driving off as their child's soccer/baseball/etc game was too important for one parent to sacrifice while my wife missed out to "man" the sale.
Sale is over, a couple of people were helpful to put clothing in trash bags. But now a great idea has surfaced-we can send all of these clothes to Haiti where 3 of them just got back from on a mission trip. The best part is they don't know when any of this can happen and I don't see anyone forming a line to help empty 3 bays worth of garage sale crap cluttering up my garage. There are still tables throughout the garage and cannot even get my trashcans out tonight as it stands.
And yep, I'm the a-hole for telling my wife I'm going to call Goodwill or someone to pick all of this crap up or they can figure out a way to get these clothes out of my garage before the week is up.
Never again...
:-):-):-)
Duane,
Not to be a negative nelly but I've been in Haiti for the past 17 months. They do not need any more clothes sent down here. There are piles and piles of clothing that no one wants, the clothing sits in hugh piles and rots in this climate. I was home last month and gave all our old clothes to the local shelters. The shelter manager said his shelter has not seen the influx of clothes since the earthquake here in Haiti, he was very happy to receive our old threads.
Just FYI my friend.
Chris.....
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