If you are not sure if you have to fart or crap, what do you do? Do you go and sit on the toilet, or do you just sit or stand where you are at that particular moment in time and hope for the best?

:-)

:-)

As you get older, you'll learn not to trust a fart. :-)

Is this something that you really need to ask for advice from the world?

Jack Nicholson said that in The Bucket List.

shart

:-) next time you have a thought, maybe just let it go

I usually take my chances and let it rip

I like the challenge of attempting it while standing and not leaving any streaks.

When you gamble, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. You will never know unless you try it.

The idea is to get cleaned out in the morning so that farts become trustworthy, at least until after lunch.

Depends on how many oranges I've eaten.

Make sure one never attempts it with a cigar in the mouth.
Almost chewed right through one my last attempt.

Here I sit broken hearted
Came to sh*t but only farted.