A married mans single buddies beg him to join them on a night out. He tells his wife he wants to go. She says, "No way, every time you go out with those guys you come home a stinking mess. Last time you threw up all over yourself." The husband promises this time it will be different. Reluctantly the wife agrees.
The man is out and having a great time. Too great of a time actually. He's really feeling good when his buddies insist he do some shots with them. At first he refuses, but eventually he cracks under the pressure. One too many shots later the man throws up on his own shirt.
He says to his buddy, "My wife is going to kill me, I promised I wouldn't get so drunk like I did last time. Now I've thrown up all over myself. What am I gonna do?"
His buddy says, "I have a great idea. Put $20 in your front pocket and when you get home tell your wife it was someone else who threw up on you and they gave you the $20 to get your shirt dry cleaned."
"Genius," says the man.
Late that night the man finally gets home. His wife greets him at the door. She is obviously angry and tears right into him.
"You said this time would be different, look at you, you have thrown up all over yourself, AGAIN!!!," says the wife.
"Wait honey, this IS different, some guy at the bar threw up on me. He gave me $20 to get my shirt dry cleaned. Here it is right here in my shirt pocket," he says and he hands her the money from his pocket.
"You said he gave you $20, this is 40 bucks," she says.
"Yeah, apparently he sh*t in my pants too."
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