I think my dog wrote a couple of these!
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~ Yelling at me for barking...HEY, I'M A DOG!!
~ Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
~ Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.
~ Blaming your farts on me...not funny...not funny at all.
~ Yelling at me for rubbing my bottom on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?
~ Dog sweaters. Helloooo...have you noticed the fur?
~ Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
~ Taking me to the vet for "the big snip," then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.
~ The sleight of hand, fake-fetch-throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
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:-)