One day a Masshole, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years, saw a speck on the horizon.
He thought to himself, "Surely, it's not a ship." As the speck got closer & closer, he ruled out even the possibilities of a small boat or raft.
Suddenly, there strode out from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Tossing aside the scuba tanks and mask, stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde woman!
She walked up to the stunned Masshole and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you had a good cigar?"
"Ten years", replied the amazed Masshole. With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh cigar and lighter.
He took the cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. "Gahd", he said, "that was so good! I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke could be!"
"And how long has it been since you've had any good whiskey?" asked the blonde.
Trembling, the Masshole answered, "Ten years."
Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there, and removed a flask and handed it to him.
He opened the flask and took a long drink. "It's fantastic!!", he shouted.
The blonde then slowly started to unzip the long front of her wet suit. She looked at the trembling Masshole and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?"
With tears in his eyes, the Masshole fell to his knees and sobbed, "Oh, my dear Lord! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too!"
:-)
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