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Jokes>The Newlywed
CBI_2 04:47 PM 03-06-2009
A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, “Honey, I’ll be right back.” Where are you going, Coochy Coo?” asked the wife.


“I’m going to the bar, Pretty Face. I’m going to have a beer.” The wife said, “You want a beer, my love?” She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.


The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, “Yes, Lollipop…but at the bar…you know…they have frozen glasses… ”


He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?” She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.


The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious…I won’t be long. I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?”


“You want hors d’oeuvres, Poochie ?” She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.


“But my sweet honey…at the bar….you know there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…”


“You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?…”LISTEN UP D***HEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE H*LL UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG, AND EAT YOUR F****IN’ HORS D’OEUVRES. BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN’T GOING TO A DAM BAR! THAT CHIT IS OVER… GOT IT, A$$HOLE?”


…and they lived happily ever after.

[Reply]
WildBlueSooner 05:00 PM 03-06-2009
:-) Nice!
[Reply]
WildBlueSooner 05:01 PM 03-06-2009
Was the guy's name Paul?
[Reply]
CBI_2 05:04 PM 03-06-2009
Originally Posted by WildBlueSooner:
Was the guy's name Paul?
NOOOOO! :-) :-)
[Reply]
G G 05:06 PM 03-06-2009
There you go, funny one Paul.
[Reply]
CBI_2 05:15 PM 03-06-2009
Originally Posted by ggainey:
There you go, funny one Paul.
Thank you sir. :-)
[Reply]
RottenZombie 06:40 PM 03-07-2009
it was Paul,wasn't it?:-):-):-):-):-)
[Reply]
tunes 06:42 PM 03-07-2009
How true it is... :-):-):-)
[Reply]
theonlybear4CORT 06:59 PM 03-07-2009
LOL :-)r
[Reply]
CBI_2 10:20 PM 03-07-2009
Originally Posted by RottenZombie:
it was Paul,wasn't it?:-):-):-)
:-) for you too. :-)
[Reply]
Genetic Defect 10:25 PM 03-07-2009
repost :-)
[Reply]
CBI_2 11:09 PM 03-07-2009
Originally Posted by Big Vito:
repost :-)
Oooops! :-)
[Reply]
michael88n 11:22 PM 03-07-2009
*whew!* Sure glad that ain't me!

Funny stuff.
[Reply]
Genetic Defect 11:24 PM 03-07-2009
Originally Posted by CBI_2:
Oooops! :-)
don't you remember reading it last year :-) I was joking Paula:-)
[Reply]
CBI_2 09:39 AM 03-08-2009
Originally Posted by Big Vito:
don't you remember reading it last year I was joking Paula:-)
:-) and another :-) for you also. :-)

Damn! I need :-)after all this.
[Reply]
Genetic Defect 12:21 PM 03-08-2009
Originally Posted by CBI_2:
:-) and another :-) for you also. :-)
sumbody got the panties in a bunch?:-):-)
[Reply]
CBI_2 09:16 PM 03-08-2009
Originally Posted by Big Vito:
sumbody got the panties in a bunch?:-):-)
More like tighty-whities. :-)
[Reply]
Genetic Defect 09:19 PM 03-08-2009
Originally Posted by CBI_2:
More like tighty-whities. :-)
I heard you were into racing (cars)
[Reply]
jamesb3 09:35 PM 03-08-2009
Great as always Paul!:-)
[Reply]
CBI_2 10:00 PM 03-08-2009
Originally Posted by Big Vito:
I heard you were into racing (cars)
:-):-):-)
Originally Posted by jamesb3:
Great as always Paul!:-)
Thanks! :-)
[Reply]
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