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Jokes>Things you hear...
Steve 01:12 PM 12-02-2010
- besides "The check is in the mail" - that probably aren't true.

* (after giving directions) ...you can't miss it.

* I never watch television except PBS.

* The engine is supposed to make that noise.

* I never inhaled.

* Just ignore him -- he's never bitten anyone.

* Don't worry, I can get another 40 miles when the gauge is on "empty."

* It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing.

* You get this one and I'll pay next time.

* I have read and agreed to the terms and conditions.

* I'll call you right back.

* I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

* Don't worry.

* I don't need a nice ring when you ask me to marry you.

* Almost any answer to the question, "Do these pants make my rear end look big?"

* I will pay you back next week.

* I only had one drink, officer.

* I'll be there in 5 minutes.

* No, your driver's license picture looks fine.

* The dog ate my homework.

* It tastes just like chicken.

* This car is just like new.

* Guaranteed to last a lifetime.

* This will pay for itself the first time you use it.

* We don't need to stop for directions. I know exactly where we are.

* Congratulations! You've just won an all expense paid trip to the destination of your choice. Absolutely free! No strings attached.
[Reply]
T.G 01:13 PM 12-02-2010
* Cigars age by the rule of 3's
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forgop 01:15 PM 12-02-2010
Don't forget about the person that wants to buy your item for sale on craigslist, but he just happened to leave to work in the UK for the next 3 months and will send payment and have his shipper pick up the goods...

OR

I am a verified beneficiary to a very wealthy person in Nigeria. All I have to do is pay some money to help expedite the process for the funds to be released.
[Reply]
kelmac07 06:06 PM 12-02-2010
Don't forget...

"Don't be a Nickerson!!" :-) :-) :-)
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theoneandonly 06:12 PM 12-02-2010
"I swear tofficer, I'm sotally tober."
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Bill86 06:17 PM 12-02-2010
* I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

:-)


Originally Posted by T.G:
* Cigars age by the rule of 3's
:-) :-) Man that never gets old.
[Reply]
Kreth 06:19 PM 12-02-2010
Originally Posted by forgop:
I am a verified beneficiary to a very wealthy person in Nigeria. All I having to do is pay some money for to allowing the funds to be released.
Fixed your grammar. :-)
Posted via Mobile Device
[Reply]
GolfNut 08:15 PM 12-02-2010
Originally Posted by Kreth:
Fixed your grammar. :-)
Posted via Mobile Device
:-) So it's YOU that's been sending me those emails! :-) Nobody else could have the sentence structure down so well.
[Reply]
MajorCaptSilly 08:20 PM 12-02-2010
I won't steal your socks.

The grapes are from Russia.

Dan Rather used this toothbrush.

A tomato is a vegetable.

I did not put leeches in your briefcase.

Faygo is better than Nehi.

Sanford & Son is based on a true story.



MCS
[Reply]
Skywalker 08:32 PM 12-02-2010
Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly:
I won't steal your socks.

The grapes are from Russia.

Dan Rather used this toothbrush.

A tomato is a vegetable.

I did not put leeches in your briefcase.

Faygo is better than Nehi.

Sanford & Son is based on a true story.



MCS


:-)
[Reply]
ChicagoWhiteSox 08:45 PM 12-02-2010
It's just a flesh wound...
[Reply]
massphatness 08:55 PM 12-02-2010
Vin's hot
Posted via Mobile Device
[Reply]
TheStatsGuy 07:07 AM 12-03-2010
Originally Posted by massphatness:
Vin's hot...wanna nother drink?
Posted via Mobile Device
FYP
[Reply]
357 07:11 AM 12-03-2010
No means NO
[Reply]
htown 08:29 AM 12-03-2010
trust me
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357 08:41 AM 12-03-2010
I'm an IT (support) guy. Changes to production systems are very carefully controlled and documented. Something breaks. We get called. We have no recent changes on record. We ask and we hear all the time from software developers

"I didn't change ANYTHING"

As soon as you dig a little deaper and find evidence against them its: "Yeah I did that, I renamed that file, updated that code, moved that folder, etc". Most things done on a computer can be tracked. Never forget that.
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