This man went on a company cruise with several coworkers when one guy he'd worked with for 10 years, quite inebriated, walks up to him and says, "You are one fat som' *****!
Taken aback, he looks at him and says, "Why would you say something like that to me, Harry?"
"'Cause you're one fat ass som' *****, that's why!"
"Well it's YOUR wife's fault, Harry!"
"Why is it my wife's fault you're a fat som' *****?"
"Because every time I bang her, she gives me a cookie!"
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:-)