I am helping a friend that has a cigar store in the local mall. He asked me to work the store for a couple of days. I am surrounded by HUNDREDS of cigars and I can't smoke a one, the mall has a no smoking policy.

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Thats great... but awful at the same time...
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Well I can honestly say that even for you that is a cruel and inhumane torment.
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That's like a specialized hell.



"Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink"
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:-)
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Isn't torture illegal within the borders of the good ole USA?
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I would like to offer my services as a cigar surrogate. Send me a few sticks and I can skype you in while I smoke them. It'll be almost like smoking them yourself.
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Sucks Larry....

"Water, water all around but not a drop to drink"
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Sucks to be you Larry. I'm laughing on the inside.
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Quit!! Walk out back and smoke one! :-) :-)

That sucks brother...
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Ouch...
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Camera 3, opens to a wide shot of the cigar store. A mother and her young daughter are walking by. Something odd catches their attention.

"Mommy, why is that man licking the insides of that cigar cabinet?"

"I don't know, hon. I just don't know."

Camera 2, close-up on Larry with slow zoom. Tears streaming down his face.

(sobs) "filthy screws….(lick lick)…frickin' filthy screws! (sob) (lick)
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Damn, too late. I already cleaned the glass, and the cedar is to rough.
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