I perk, but I'm no expert. Still, it seems to me that most of your questions depend upon your personal tastes, and how strong you like your coffee. You should bring it to a full perk for at least 3 minutes, then allow to perk longer if you want it stronger. Me, I perk it up to the point where it's about to burn.
:-)
I have a 10-cup pot, and use 6 heaping scoops. As for grind, you want it coarse as opposed to fine, since the finer the grind the more grinds will filter through the holes in the bottom of the basket and end up in your cup.
Other than that . . .
:-)
Good luck, sister, and enjoy.
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