Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth, uneventful flight. So, sit back, relax, and.........OH... MY GOD!"
Silence followed ....
Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
From the back of the plane, an Irish passenger yelled..."For the luva Jaysus...you should see the back of mine!"
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:-) 
