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Jokes>The IRS and Grandpa
Blueface 10:26 AM 02-18-2014
Oldie but Goodie just in time for the season.

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.' Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'
[Reply]
357 10:45 AM 02-18-2014
Actually LOL
[Reply]
jsnake 11:12 AM 02-18-2014
Heard that before but it still makes laugh hard :-):-):-)
[Reply]
markem 11:20 AM 02-18-2014
I hope that someone is collecting these for Carlos' biography. These are all actually true stories about him.
[Reply]
big_jaygee 11:26 AM 02-18-2014
:-) :-) :-)
[Reply]
xFreebirdx 11:59 AM 02-18-2014
hahahahaha :-)
[Reply]
Porch Dweller 12:38 PM 02-18-2014
:-)

An oldie, but a definite goody.
[Reply]
jhedrick83 01:35 PM 02-18-2014
:-):-):-)
[Reply]
CigarNut 01:51 PM 02-18-2014
:-) :-)
[Reply]
Dave128 01:54 PM 02-18-2014
LOL!!
[Reply]
G G 02:10 PM 02-18-2014
Now that's funny.:-)
[Reply]
Heavy_d 09:08 PM 02-18-2014
:-):-):-)
[Reply]
RUNYYFan 08:58 PM 03-21-2014
:-) :-) :-) :-)

Always a guffaw.
[Reply]
kelmac07 09:03 PM 03-21-2014
:-) :-) :-)
[Reply]
TJarv 09:44 PM 03-21-2014
That's great
[Reply]
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