Aside from Gout Banter, what do you old turds relish about getting old?

For me, it's that I don't have to fetch stuff anymore.
I don't have to fetch slushies, I just tell a kid to.
Don't fetch tools, I get someone else to.
Fetching is just plain over, and it's wonderful.

That's kinda tied with being able to say "I'm tired" and being able to get out of anything.
If we're out, it's a perfectly valid excuse to go home.
It's also perfectly valid when I don't want to go somewhere.
It is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
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Peer pressure becomes meaningless when you get older. Friends or people trying to shame you into doing something or not doing something? Go **** yourself. :-) :-) :-)
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Using the Im getting older to relax the brain to mouth filter.
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I can give almost anyone under 40 a head shake and a sigh and they are embarrassed.
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Peer pressure has never effected me, ever. Not even woman pressure.
This is EXACTLY why I can't keep a good woman, etc.
It's not to say I won't flex. I'll do or change anything. As long as someone doesn't "tell me to".
Then it's all over.
It's the bane of my existence and I'm working on it.
I'm not getting anywhere, but I am in therapy. :-)
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Hmmm, the best part?

Being grouchy and not having to justify it is up there. Throwing away my work wardrobe was an enlightening experience. And footwear becoming casual and/or just plain optional is one of the better benefits. Not to mention senior discounts - I can visit any National Park now just by showing my special senior card. Oh, and I have time to smoke a Lusitania whenever I'm in the mood. But the absolute best part - being retired and getting up whenever I damn well feel like it. :-)
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Not having work schedule get in the way of social engagements. I know there were some great times missed out on through the years.

Also been catching up on some neighborhoods around the region that there wasn't time to walk around in before. I'd drive by and think 'Got to check out the restaurant/shop/park/whatever sometime' but it never happened.
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I like that I'm closer to my life insurance paying off
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Being able to take a piss and fart at the same time is awesome.
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The never-ending rewipes are irritating.
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Not if you use Charmin w/ aloe.
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The downside is not completely trusting any given fart.
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I farted the other day...

...and did not need to wipe.

:-)
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I took a leak the other day and it just stopped.
I called the newspaper. :-)
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The best part of getting old is that you are kind of experienced and know that whatever happens - it's not the end of the world:-)
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The money to buy the car you wish you had when you were 21... But now you're too old and lame to pick up the same girls.
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