When I was in the service we really enjoyed playing tricks on the Boots (newbies) fresh out of Infantry School. They were so innocent and wet-behind-the-ears that they'd believe almost anything us salty dogs would tell them.

Four of my favorites were:

- Send the boot/noob to the Armory to get a "can of backblast"
(backblast is the air/gasses/heat expelled from the back end of a rocket launcher - hard to find a can of that layin' around)

- Send the boot/noob running with a spool of wire from fighting hole to fighting hole so we could hook up field phones. While he was running we'd hurriedly attach the wires to our phone and wait. When he grabbed the other end of the wires to attach them on his end we'd crank the hell out of our phone and give him a good zap!
(that one still brings tears to my eyes :-) )

- Send the boot/noob to Supply to get a can of plaid paint.
(paint comes in many colors - plaid ain't one of them)

- Send the boot/noob running to the Gunny (Gunnery Seargeant, rank E-7) to get the radio, a PRC-77. "Run Boot, tell him we need that 'Prick E-7' in a hurry!"
(In general, a Gunny doesn't like being called a prick by a buck Private!) :-)


To be honest I love playing pranks on almost anyone. I can't count the number of times I've hidden behind doors or under beds to jump out and scare my wife. When I was a kid I crawled under the pews in church from one end of the building to the other just to sneak up on a lady and grab her ankle while she was vacuuming the carpet one afternoon. (I got in big trouble for that one - she was elderly and didn't enjoy the scare I gave her - I couldn't sit down comfortably that night!) My dog is no longer amused with my 'pretend to throw the toy' trick - he just stares at me in a 'you jackass' tone of voice until I actually throw it.


So, what about you guys? What are your favorite tricks to play on the noobs, your friends, your spouse, your pet, your pastor, whoever? By pooling our resources we pranksters can laugh ourselves silly for years to come!

Also, just curious - are there any traditional Cigar Asylum pranks that the FOGs like to pull on the noobs? I say if there aren't any yet we should make a few!

:-)
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But you can't forget these:

- Send the private to get a box of ground guides from the motor sergeant

- Send the private to get some chem light batteries from the supply sergeant

- Send the private to get a box of grid squares from the training NCO
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I definitely remember the first two!!
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Wow, I forgot about the grid squares. :-)
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go get me some tartan paint
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I like to see how many welding rods the apprentice can bend behind his neck.
Spending the whole day with a sweaty back and flux crumbles down your shirt makes for a good hoot.
We send the kids down to the soapstone machine a lot, too. When they can't find it in the basement, we tell them to go ask someone else where they put it. That guy tells him to go ask someone else. Usually each guy is at least 10 or 12 flights of stairs away, or half a mile on the other side of the job.
I've seen a kid burn up a 12 hour shift and 10,000 stairs like that. It's a beautiful thing. :-)
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Tell the private to go get 100yds of flight line..
Go ask admin for a left handed pen or scissors.
Go ask Motor-T for the keys to the Humvee
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I used to be a manager for Farrell's Ice Cream Parlour in South Bend, IN. I started out as a dishwasher at the age of 16. The big trick there was to take one of the stainless steel cups we used for side orders of hot fudge, fill it with water, then freeze it. After that, take it to the noob dishwasher and tell him/her it was the "crystal" for the shake machine and it was very expensive so they needed to run it through the dishwasher and bring it to the fountain immediately. Well, when it went through the dishwasher, the ice melted and just the cup remained. We would make a big deal out of it and start tearing apart the dishwasher to look for it. Laugh riot baybee!

MCS
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