:-)I was walking around outside, and decided to swing by the front of the house. After all, I've put five, even ten or twelve dollars into The Lawn, so it would be rude of me not to visit it at least once.
The Lawn has been there for a while for walking around, but just opened up some new space with the removal of a rather large, dead tree a few months ago. Two guys I'd never seen before showed up in a big orange tree trimming truck to take care of that, so I knew they'd do a great job.
The Lawn is located about 45 miles south-west of the world famous Whogivacrap Indian Casino. Take the 65S to the 80 West to the 160W to the 99 South to the 16 East to the 99 North to the 160W to the 99S to to the 275W to the 50 North to the 5 North to the 16 West to the 5 North to the 16 West (the exit before the McDonald's), get off at the Denny's and head north until you run into the train tracks. Back up 15 feet, head north by north-west hook a u-turn at the empty field, turn right at Chuck's house, go precisely 2354 cubits, 2 palms, 1 nail and 6 barleycorns, and it'll be right there at 137.2* anti-clockwise from the position in which the sun sets over the great pyramids of Egypt. You can't miss it.
The Lawn has four piles of dog crap setup in a random trapezoidal pattern. All the piles have at least 5 chunks, files, dead grass and are fully shaded by the bay leaf tree (this will come in handy in the summer).
This morning was visit-one, and I gotta tell you, it's 17.38142% there.
Are there going to be some growing pains, sure. But it's already so far ahead of some other lawns that have been around for years, it's laughable (go up to the frozen tundra of Baffin Island, Nunavut, Canada head North above the Arctic Circle , and you'll see what I'm talking about)
The trash wasn't too bad, and I was crushing it with my foot and and feeling pretty bad-ass and manly (until I realized it was just a take-out soda cup lid).
If you're in east nowhere and like dog-**** on your shoes, give The Lawn a try. I think we've got the rusted de-thatching rake set for March, so it should be fun.
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